Music « Blooming Where I'm Planted!

Snide Remarks & a Countdown

March 4th, 2011

~ The Nineteen Things I Love About Spring Countdown!! ~

Sixteen days to go until spring has sprung!!!

#16~ BUDS ON LILAC BUSHES!!!

This is one of the very early signs of spring, and BOO-YA(!) I have some!! And this is NOT the only exciting part!

I planted my lilac bushes late last spring, and they were kinda rough around the edges. Combined with the fact that we have really dense, clay soil here, and lilacs need loose soil and ample drainage (which water doesn’t drain well through clay… picture a clay pot… that’s what a hole in my yard is like!), I didn’t have a lot of hope that they would thrive.

Well, they HAVE! I could see the buds from the sun room!

* * * * * * * * * * *

I’m having a rough morning. Lemme ‘splain.

I connect with music. I adore music. When I can feel what a song is saying, it can easily reduce me to tears.

Mike… not so much. He likes and listens to music, but he doesn’t connect with music in the same way I do. The only song I’ve ever seen him choke up during was the wedding march they played when I came up the aisle.

He gets his shorts all in a bunch sometimes, and will go off bitching about repeating lyrics. He’s absolutely irritated by phrases that repeat in songs. Even the CHORUS! I’m like… Dude, it’s the freakin’ chorus! It’s SUPPOSED to repeat…

Well, anyway…

I don’t watch American Idol. No hate mail please. I don’t know the guy who was on Idol, whose girlfriend was in an accident and is now mentally and physically handicapped. I heard about it by accident because he was on the morning show that was on the tv in the background as we waited for the weather to come on.

He sang this song. This love song for her. Singing, why would I leave her when she needed me most. What kind of man would I be?

It was very touching. Of course I was almost in tears, but when am I not? And at the end, I thought… I don’t know how singers can do that. If I had to sing a song about the depth of love I feel for my husband, I wouldn’t make it but a few lyrics in before I choked, and my throat closed, and I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. I’m just LIKE that.

So with that thought, I turn to Mike, who’s putting his boots on for work, and I say, “I don’t know how singers can do that…”

He replies, “What? Sing the same freakin’ words, over and over?” in a snide, sarcastic tone. Then he launched into his speech on the topic.

I guess he was about due. I know he’s feeling really stressed out at work right now, and when he cracks up a bit, at least he does it in the same old predictable ways, with the same old predictable speeches. It’s like, how he releases the pent up energy inside of him.

Sure beats most every alternative way I can think of where someone is releasing stress energy.

(As a side note, my Ego has just informed me that my writing this blogs sucks because I was still a little hurt and angry when I started writing, but through analyzing it in order to articulate it, I seem to have put out the fire, and will salvage this day and my attitude after all…)

Well, I find it hard sometimes to be all zen about life in general when someone… anyone… is being all snide about something that I feel so strongly about, but it’s that much harder when it’s HIM. I know he’s not attacking me, because I am not that thing which he finds distasteful. I am not the song or the lyrics, nor do they actually represent me in any way. Still, it stings.

And I found it ironic that as I sat, suddenly overwhelmed with my depth of love for him, he chose that moment to run off at the mouth, making me feel small and stupid. I know. I CHOSE to feel small and stupid. You know what I mean.

But that little bit up there about his releasing stress energy this way, that was brilliant. I don’t think I’ve ever actually consciously acknowledged that THAT is what he’s doing when he does that. And he’s about four weeks away from completely losing his head at work and quitting. He’s only held it together this long because he needs a little more time to put the finishing touches on his own business launch.

So, yeah… he’s really stressing right now. I’m glad that little bit of brilliance struck me. That was the phrase that put the fire out and took the sting away. It’s actually kinda funny. It was almost hard to finish the story once the fire was out :)

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Change Your Thinking, Conditioned Emotional Response, Consciousness, Living Life Authentic, Music, Personal Growth, Self Love, Spring Countdown

Seeking Life

August 29th, 2010

Happy Spirit day, my friends :)

Last night we attended Mike’s boss’ annual pig roast… And I got drunk and sang karaoke!

Some people really love to sing karaoke, and do it on a fairly regular basis. I am not one of those people. I did it last year at the boss’ party for the first time. Once I worked through the terror and the feeling that I was gonna throw up, it wasn’t so bad.

This year I was just as anxious. I had to keep pep talking myself into it.

“You’ve done this before. It’s no big deal. You LOVE to sing. No one booo’d you off stage. They’re drinking too and don’t care. Besides, you sound better than half of them. At least you keep tempo and KNOW the songs…”

So with that, I got up and opened with The Beatles, When I’m Sixty-Four.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I’m trying to live… as a verb. Not live as a passive bump-on-a-log like I’ve been doing for 12 years now.

I’m trying to get out there and do real things…. new things. Inside these walls, I have more experience than I really know what to do with. Out there, I have none.

I want to do more things that make me anxious and want to throw up… In a good way of course.

I want to feel that high, tingly, anxious, exhilarated, terrified like when you’re on a roller-coaster feeling! I want this feeling to be a part of my, maybe not everyday, but normal life.

I am bored because I am boring. There is so much out there and I long to find and experience it.

I want life to experience ME… authentically, as I am. I want to share ME with the rest of the world as readily as I want to soak up the experiences of all of It.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I’d intended to take guitar lessons with Michael this fall, and I still intend to do it, but I think we’ve had a minor change in plans.

Michael has just started a band class in school that will go on for six weeks. At the end of the six weeks, the kids who want to actually BE in the band will stay, and the rest will return to normal classes. I’m going to wait until the end of these six weeks to start guitar with him because I want him to learn everything they have to teach him about music.

Because I don’t want to wait that long, myself, and because I don’t want to start guitar without him because we won’t be in the same place then and won’t get the discount, I think I’m going to start taking piano lessons in the meantime.

I have always loved piano music and have wanted to learn to play piano for as long as I can remember. Yep, just typing it out makes me a little anxious and a little nauseated. LOL

* * * * * * * * * * *

I am learning that it’s that exhilarated feeling that creates.

It’s that feeling of overflowing joy beyond verbal expression that connects me right to the Universe. When I cultivate that feeling within me as I’ve been doing for a few weeks now, I feel as though I’m sitting right in God’s lap…. Like God is actually Santa and whatever I throw out there while on the lap will readily come flyin’ at me.

Doing things I love to do is good. I mean like, writing, riding my bike, walking in nature, playing with my dogs, etc…

These are all great feeling things that help me to create happiness in my life. But I’m also finding that, when I get the shot of super high exhilaration, it creates faster.

So I will. I will seek things that scare the crap out of me. I will seek things I’ve never done. I will seek things… feelings, experiences… all of it.

I am a seeker.

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Conscious Living, Inspiration, Intention Manifestation, joy quest, Living Life Authentic, Music, Personal Growth, Self Love

I’m Growing Like a Weed

May 20th, 2010

Greeting Friends!

This morning I’ve got growth on the brain. I can feel myself growing.

I had to chuckle at myself. Every time I have an epiphany or a moment of real personal growth, I feel SOO elated. I feel high. I feel like I am part of the most amazing bio-spirit-mechanism and it makes me feel incredibly powerful and yet completely humbled all at the same time. It makes my skin buzz and tingle like it’s filled with electricity and it makes a giant lump appear in the back of my throat as I literally choke on the emotion/love/gratitude/acceptance/awe/depth/eternalness that wells inside of me.

It makes me feel so, connected. So, alive. I want to shout it from the rooftops! The people in my life who listen to my endless blathering on about personal and Spiritual growth must have mental mute buttons. Poor people. LOL

I remember when it first began happening though. I remember that elated high that sent me running to the groups and forums I was a member of to tell all of my online, like-minded friends about the amazing epiphany I just had. It was amazing to learn that my thoughts and ideas and imaginings and intentions were actually, literally, in a way that I could NOT explain, affecting the solid world around me. When I think about seeing something, there it is looking at me.

And I remember that the more it happened, the more I focused upon the growth. But there’s the funny thing. The more I focused on the growth… the lesson… the learning… the more it happened. The faster it happened.

So this is what I want to say today. If you are uncomfortable in your life, you need to grow. You will not grow unless you WANT to grow. Sometimes there are truths to be understood before we can grow so you have to be willing to be honest with yourself. Be honest about how you feel. But whatever is making you uncomfortable, look at it and ask yourself, “What is this situation here to show me? Where can I grow?”

Often your ego will try to get in the way and tell you that you may end up looking like a fool or that you need to defend your position. But let me tell you this…. the growth feeeeeeeeels so good. It really does. It feels wonderful to shake off the old and stretch into the new. It feels better to grow than it does to convince someone else that I’m “right.”

My affirmation today will be~ My world is beautiful and it’s a fantastic day!

Check out one of my new favorite songs by Collective Soul :)