In Moments of Stillness

July 7th, 2010

Yesterday it was 95 degrees outside.  SO uncomfortable.

I watered my garden and flowers in my bathing suit, basking in the wonderfully delightful rays of the sun.  I spent much of the day in the comfortable 76 degrees of the house.  I found my way into the pool a few different times.  Just jumping in and swimming around a few minutes, then getting back out does wonders for your over-heated body.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I’ve got this little voice in my head that says I’m lazy for not “doing something” and it causes me to have a hard time doing nothing, or rather doing something that my ego mind views as non-productive.  I’ve been working on this for a couple months now and I’ve been noticing a difference.  I sit and do nothing and enjoy it.  I think about how perfect the moment in within itself and AS itself with nothing lacking or wrong.

So for the past three months, I’ve been purposely doing nothing of consequence and observing the world around me while allowing the realization that, as a human being, this is all I’m really here to do.  This IS my purpose.  To just be myself, where I am, in stillness and peace.  To be calm and allow  the knowledge that as I sit and observe the amazing things around me, I am allowing God to cloak my whole life in peace and love.

My ego brain urges me to do something useful because I’m wasting precious time, but my higher mind assures me that this is actually the most productive thing I can possibly be doing.  I have learned to follow the suggestions of my higher mind because it’s become glaringly clear how very true all the things it’s ever told me were….

So I have sat and observed.  Observed and adored.  Adored and imagined.  Imagined and allowed.  Allowed and become…

Become what?  Happier?  More satisfied?  More relaxed?  More enamored with life?

Yes.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

One big thing that’s manifested into my life recently is our 27′ round, 52″ deep swimming pool (that I KEEP talking about!).  It’s a really big deal for me.  It’s something I’ve literally wanted my entire life.  I’ve always thought of people who owned swimming pools (even though I didn’t realize it years ago) as being abundant and wealthy, so being in a place where I own this very awesome swimming pool, in itself, makes my entire abundance vibe change.  I actually FEEEEEL wealthier.

I’ve been taking advantage of the feeling I derive from owning this pool by just basking in it.  The pool AND the feeling.  Separately AND at the same time.  I look around my home as I sit in quiet observation and I find it striking how blessed I feel.  I feel as though I really have it all.  Then I go outside and float around the swimming pool in a floating chair with a drink in the cup holder and a large brimmed sun hat on my head and I feel like the pampered trophy wife to a millionaire. LOL  So I expound on the feelings.  The imaginings.  The luxurious fantasy.

That feeling place is the most important place to find when you’re trying to consciously manifest.  I’ve seen it time and again in my own life.  I am convinced and have been for quite some time.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

On Saturday, June 26th for the full moon, I did a small ritual.  I just lit a candle and said a prayer of gratitude and love.  Then I made a list of things I’d love to see manifest themselves into my life.  The deep.  The trivial.  Everything that came to mind.  They are long and short term goals, for instance “New Carpet Throughout the House” is on my list, but we agree that we don’t want new carpet until all interior remodeling is complete, so it’s surely not an urgent request.  Just on my list of wants.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

So yesterday was super hot.  We’re having quite a heatwave here in NE Ohio.  I’m learning to be an observer of the creation surrounding me at any given moment and I’m finding an amazing amount of pleasure in it.  Pleasure that I believe is helping my goals manifest quicker!

I spent yesterday doing very little.  The heat talked me into it, so I was just going with the flow.

I lounged and swam and read and went to the library and ate Peanut Butter, Banana, Coconut Sandwiches with a side of strawberries and walnuts drizzled in chocolate for lunch with my kids.  I talked to my plants and played computer games and took my dog in the swimming pool with me.  By the time Mike got home @ 5, I was looking forward to another relaxed evening of family time in the pool and maybe something on the grill for dinner.  A perfect end to a perfect day.

Mike comes through the door.  I inquire as to his day and he, mine.  We’re chatting and catching up from our 8 hour separation and he tells me, “I got a tip today.”

“Oh yeah?  That’s great!” I say.

He hands me a couple folded bills.  I unfold them.  I’m holding 1 one hundred dollar bill, 2 twenties, and a ten.

“Holy shit, Babe!  That’sa big tip!”  He just stands there grinning.

He celebrated by taking his pampered, trophy wife to her favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner!  Then we went over to Lowes to look at ceiling fans.  That’s one thing on my list of wants and it’s been SO hot here recently, we need to get it now.  We wanted to buy a 52″ ceiling fan for our bedroom so we could take down the 48″ ceiling fan and relocate it into Michael’s bedroom.

We found a 52″ fan that was originally $160, but was a return and has been discontinued.  Marked down to $99.  I was like… “WOOHOO! $60 off!!”  but not Mike.  He walks over to the sales clerk and says, “Previously opened, taped back together, discontinued…. I think you can do better than $99.”

The clerk calls his manager on the phone.  Talks for about 30 seconds.  Hangs up, turns around and says, “Okay, $50.”

I almost fell over.

So we go up to the register and while we’re up there, Mike wants to look in the clearance rack for windows.  He checks there every time we’re there, but there’s mostly doors and special order returns that are small or oddly shaped.  We’re trying to make a sun room.  We want big, double hung windows.

There in the rack are 2 huge, double hung, matching windows.  O  M  G ! ! !   I high tail it over and they’re $300 each, both marked down to $150!!!  I’m like, “WOW! That’s like, buy one get one free!! I LOVE buy one get one free!!”

“I think they can do better,” he says…. And they call the manager to the front.

For this, I am mortified.  Mike is a haggler.  I am not.  I see a deal and am happy to have spotted it.  I am willing to spend money when I feel that what I’m buying is worth the price.  Before I met Mike, I was unaware that haggling was even an option at places like Wal-mart or Lowes or even SEARS… but he has shown me that if you tell them you want to pay less, they will actually charge you less.  It’s quite amazing really, but I feel ridiculous and have to walk away while he works his magic. LOL

I didn’t walk away this time.  I was ready to leave.  We were standing right by the door.  I was ready to grab those windows and head for home.  The manager types into his computer, looks up at Mike and says, “I can give em to ya for a hundred a piece.”

In my head, I’m doing the most ridiculous happy dance.  We just saved $50 off each window.

Mike just stands there.  He looks over at the windows.  Looks back at me.  Looks back at the windows.  Then he just STANDS there.  Silent.  For like… 15 seconds, which is an ETERNITY in such a situation.  As I’m about to wave my hand in front of his face to see if he’s still awake, the manager types a little more and says, “Okay, $75 a piece. $150 for both.”

O  M  G ! ! !  We got them buy one get one free at the DISCOUNTED price.  So we left Lowes with roughly $760 in goods for the rock bottom price of $214 with tax :)

I actually did the happy dance at that point.  And I didn’t give a hoot what anyone thought of it!

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

So we came home and the kids went out to the pool for the evening swim and Mike started taking down our old fan to put up the new one.  I helped him get the old one down and was laying on the bed with the dog, watching him wire the new one up.

I used the time to be present with him.  To be in the newly remodeled Master’s Suite that I ADORE with the man I ADORE, watching him install the fan that all my adoration has bought me.

I will continue to take time to see Eden as it is and not as my ego would have it be.  I will be myself, where I am.  I am manifesting life in moments of stillness.

* * * * * * * * * * *

My affirmation until 7-11-10 on the New Moon~
My life is a reflection of my thoughts. I will think on Joy filled things*

~ OxOxx

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Book Love

July 5th, 2010

Happy Monday Cyber World!

I have been experiencing some really fantastic reading lately.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt drawn to read, but as per my recent funk, I’ve been doing a lot of reading.  Of course, it’s really no big surprise that my great and sudden urge to read came right on schedule and has brought me to some of the most wonderful reading material of my life.  Wonderful reading material that I was in exactly the right place for at exactly the right time.

I’ve experienced such leaps in thought over the past two to three weeks, I’ve found it truly quite astounding.

I want to share with you these books.  A seeker is always seeking and new, recommended reading material is generally a very welcome thing, so here goes…
Creative Responsibility by C. Thomas Sikking

Mirror Therapy: A Spiritual Journey into Your Subconscious by Limor Zohar

&

A Course in Miracles

If you are looking for some non-fiction, summer reading with a Spiritual vein to it, these are fantastic.  As a side note, I read the above in the order in which they are written down, and in retrospect I can see that I read them in the perfect order to receive their messages properly.  Properly for Me.

I’m off to the library to see what other treasures I can find!  Have a fantastic Monday!!

* * * * * * * * * * *

My affirmation until 7-11-10 on the New Moon~

My life is a reflection of my thoughts. I will think on Joy filled things*

~ OxOxx

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Joy Quest ~ Site Updates!

April 21st, 2010

Today the second quarter of the Moon cycle begins.  That leaves me two more weeks to focus upon my intention of this month… My Joy Quest.

I’ve made a to-do list of things that I want to have accomplished by the end of May.  Some of them have to do with my online life but mostly they’re items to do with my flower and veggie beds and gardens.

After I posted about my Friday Joy Quest last week, I sat down and gave some thought to what exactly I could do to seek more joy.  I don’t really have any hobbies and I feel like that’s what I need.  I’ve decided that I will seek my joy in gardening.

I’ve had a garden for two years now.  It’s been almost a complete flop each time.  Lack of focus.  Not this year!

It’s funny really.  I have this cycle that I repeat constantly.  I think about the things I’d LIKE to do out in the gardens, and I put them off.  Then I think of how relaxing it would be, and I put them off.  Then I think about how lovely the finished product would be, and I put them off.  Then… after what seems like an eternity of procrastination, and sometimes it takes a week or more, I go out and put my hands in the dirt.

I always find myself digging and weeding and thinking, “Why on Earth do I put this off so long?!  I really am enjoying myself.”

No more!

Now, I am a gardener.  I may have to GROW my own green thumb, but a gardening I will go.  I will seek my joy in the dirt.  I know I’ve found it there before.

I will find time.  I will make time.  There will be nothing more important to me than nurturing and caring for the flowers that bring peace and wild nature to my backdoor and the fresh vegetables that nurture my family.

I’ve already started planting perennials in my Gratitude Garden.  I’ll have the last couple new things in today, so I’ll be sure to get some pics together.  I meant to have them in yesterday, but I sat down to do a little writing yesterday morning and ended up making so much progress, I didn’t want to stop.  That was were I found my joy Tuesday.  I’m just going where the joy leads me baby!

I made some changes to my blog that I’m really happy with and I hope you’ll check them out.  I’ve added a “Today is:” widget to the sidebar that I personally (not a program) update every morning.  I wanted a way to incorporate my following of the Moon Astrology into my blog without having to fill inboxes by devoting entire posts to it.

In the sidebar you will find today’s date, and the astrological house the Moon is found in.  You will also find a tarot card of the day (I picked this mornings fresh from bed, in my robe, steaming coffee in front of me in my completely serene house.  My happiest moment of each day seems an appropriate time to pick a card.) with a brief paragraph of my reading for it.  I added to that a short interpretation that includes consideration of the Moon’s placement.

Below that is now a “Chakra of the Day” with some information and a “fast, easy, do anywhere” meditation of my own for balance. There’s a common misconception that meditating has to be time consuming, but it doesn’t.

So that’s where I am on my Joy Quest.  I also want to mention that I’ve decided that regular exercise is also part of my joy and I’ve been SUCH a slacker through this winter season.  There will be no more of that either.  I’ve decided to start running again, which apparently I’ve missed. LOL

I’m starting slow, which I never do and always burn out fast.  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Not every day.  Monday I watched my DVR’d Desperate Housewives, sans commercials, which cuts the time down to 43 minutes and I jogged along at an easy 3.5 mph BUT when I run outside, I run intervals between phone poles.  Monday while watching Housewives and this morning while watching ♥ House ♥ I ran 3.5 mph for 2.36 miles…. constant.  I plugged along, lost in my shows.

My shirt was soaked after each run and there’s just a lot of pride in that for me.  I’m proud of me :)  I’m looking forward to feeling more of that.

So anyway, I’m going to wrap this up and see what I can do about finding some joy in a second cup of coffee.  I LOVE my mid-morning, everyone’s gone, house is peaceful again, french press, boiling hot cup of coffee.

I hope you’re finding some joy in your life.  If you’re not, what’s stopping you?

~oxoxx

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