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Book Love

July 5th, 2010

Happy Monday Cyber World!

I have been experiencing some really fantastic reading lately. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt drawn to read, but as per my recent funk, I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Of course, it’s really no big surprise that my great and sudden urge to read came right on schedule and has brought me to some of the most wonderful reading material of my life. Wonderful reading material that I was in exactly the right place for at exactly the right time.

I’ve experienced such leaps in thought over the past two to three weeks, I’ve found it truly quite astounding.

I want to share with you these books. A seeker is always seeking and new, recommended reading material is generally a very welcome thing, so here goes…
Creative Responsibility by C. Thomas Sikking

Mirror Therapy: A Spiritual Journey into Your Subconscious by Limor Zohar

A Course in Miracles

If you are looking for some non-fiction, summer reading with a Spiritual vein to it, these are fantastic. As a side note, I read the above in the order in which they are written down, and in retrospect I can see that I read them in the perfect order to receive their messages properly. Properly for Me.

I’m off to the library to see what other treasures I can find! Have a fantastic Monday!!

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My affirmation until 7-11-10 on the New Moon~

My life is a reflection of my thoughts. I will think on Joy filled things*

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Book Love, Conscious Living, Daily Affirmation, Law of Attraction, LOA, Manifestation, Meditation, Self Love

Loving Me in a Rut

June 18th, 2010

My life is following a theme over this past week. It’s such an incredible synchronicity for me and I can clearly see that God is really saying something and I feel so grateful to be able to hear the message.

I’ve been in sort of a rut the past week. Just kind of slow and tired and uninspired and unmotivated. If you look at my posts for the week, you’ll see what I mean.

I decided, consciously, to allow the rut, and even embrace it. I did what I felt like doing and I didn’t beat myself up for it. I read my emails and visited my forums and groups and talked about inspiring things. Other than that and mindless facebook games, I sat in the sunshine and watched the boys swim, read a couple books, watched some tv, and managed to complete a short list of chores to maintain the household.

Here’s the theme that kept popping up for me all week. Just BE who you are. Just DO what comes naturally at any given moment. Just love because love is the only purpose.

It started with a short discussion on religion and the Bible in a forum I frequent. Later, when the discussion came to mind, it came with a song. A song I used to sing in Sunday School as a little girl and it was always one of my favorites. I hadn’t thought about it in probably 20 years, but suddenly there it was, playing in my mind.

This little light of mine… I’m gonna let it shine.

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine….

Then, days later, I was in a forum reading a discussion about ego and a sudden thought occurred to me. It was just a sudden inspiration and I must’ve posted it in 10 places after it hit me. I found it totally just…perfect, and I felt so thankful to have been given such an inspiration. It was:

Life’s not about OUTSHINING any other stars… it’s about adding YOUR twinkle to the brilliance.

All the while as I’m embracing the rut I’m in and having these really inspiring and wonderful things popping randomly into my head, I’m reading. Reading Mirror Therapy and now a new one, which I’ve not quite finished so I don’t want to officially gush about it yet. That doesn’t seem fair.

Mirror Therapy has made a huge difference for me, and so far I’m really liking this new one also. Here’s where I mention that I’ve read ONE book in print in about the past year or two. I read tons online and listen to audios, but it’s been a very long time since I’ve actually felt inspired to READ a book and I’m at 2 for the week..lol

So, I’m sitting pool side watching the boys swim and reading and I notice a butterfly. I have TONS of them in and out all day, but I always notice them because I REALLY love them. Well, as I acknowledge this creature, I suddenly (yep, again) hear a song in my head. It’s another Sunday School song, and again, one I’ve not thought about in 20 years.

If I were a butterfly
I’d thank you Lord for giving me wings
If I were a robin in a tree
I’d thank you Lord that I could sing
If I were a fish in the sea
I’d wiggle my tail and I’d giggle with glee
But I just thank you Father for making me, me

CHORUS
For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were an elephant
I’d thank you Lord by raising my trunk
If I were a kangaroo
You know I’d hop right up to you
If I were an octopus
I’d thank you Lord for my fine looks
But I just thank you Father for making me, me

If I were a wiggly worm
I’d thank you Lord that I could squirm
If I were a fuzzy, wuzzy bear
I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair
If I were a crocodile
I’d thank you Lord for my great smile
But I just thank you Father for
making me, me

So, I’m really seeing a theme around me at this point. And I’m taking notice, yunno? I want the Universe to know I’m aware and listening. I’m really getting into it. Being very present in each moment and purposefully doing whatever comes naturally at that time. I wouldn’t even call it a rut at this point.

This morning, I’m sitting on the end of my bed watching the rest of a program I was watching on the History Channel and when it ended, and the DVR turned off, it went to live television and I found myself RIGHT at the beginning of THIS song. I’ve never heard it before today. I don’t dislike Jewel, I’m just not real into her, so I don’t follow her and I RARELY listen to the radio so I don’t hear things there either.

Satisfied

So that’s my week in a rut.. or rather a nutshell. lol Today I’m taking these boys for a bike ride. I’m going to let my light shine, and love it all, and be grateful for who I am and where I am and I’m going to do whatever comes naturally to me at any given moment.

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My affirmation until 6-26-10~ I am a powerful creator manifesting form with pure thought.

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Conscious Creation, Conscious Living, Law of Attraction, LOA, Self Love, Synchronicity

Mother’s Day Depression

May 10th, 2010

I hate Mother’s Day.

Mike sucks.

That’s nothing new though, so I don’t express that with an inflection of surprise. It’s more of an air of expectancy and annoyance.

“El” centered holidays suck for me and I want it to be different. I want to feel good and happy.

When it’s someone’s birthday, they get their favorite meal for dinner. Lunch too depending on what day of the week their birthday falls on. They get heart shaped pancakes and a nicely wrapped gift and their meal of choice. Father’s day? Don’t get me started.

Everyone else gets the goods. Why? Because I am the mom and mom is the goods giver. If there’s planning, mom does it. If there’s cooking, mom does it. If there’s shopping and/or wrapping, no worries… mom does it.

Then comes Mother’s Day…. and everyone does the exact same things that they do for everything else….. NOTHING.

Well no, that’s not fair.

Eddie handmade a card at school where they also helped him pot a petunia in a plastic cup for me.

Michael spent the morning making me a Mother’s Day card, which as my artist, was beautiful of course.

I love handmade cards. They’re by far my favorite thing to receive.

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Okay, so the people to whom I AM a mother to, DID actually acknowledge me for Mother’s Day. I just go so far out of my way so often for them all, I guess I just expect them to do the same for me. And by them, I mean Him.

But he doesn’t.

Expectations are a funny thing.

That’s the only thing that really made me upset. Not Mike. Not lack of appreciation (because if I’m honest, I’m much appreciated and I know it). It was the expectation. And the funniest thing about it is… I actually got what I expected. Mike did nothing and life went on as though it were any other Sunday for him.

Should I be mad?

I go on and on about how much made up holidays annoy me. The ones that are obviously geared towards the consumer spending all their money in an attempt to prove their love. Valentines…. Mother’s day… Father’s day… sweetest day… not to mention all the tinier, stupider ones in between like… secretary’s day and boss’ day and grandparents day. I’m not saying that all those people don’t deserve acknowledgment, but there’s a $4 greeting card for each occasion. Necessary? Not.

SO…. on Mother’s Day… the people who sprung forth from my body acknowledged me and expressed their love and gratitude. We didn’t go out to dinner. Not because Mike sucks but because I’d rather not. I’ve cooked for the past few days and there’s a fridge full of leftovers, so I didn’t have to cook. That was nice.

Okay, I’m not mad anymore I guess. I DID get what I expected. I only expected it because that’s what I’ve always gotten, but in the world of intention/manifestation, it can be argued that until I choose to expect something different, I will continue to receive the same things.

Ah, score one for learned neurosis. That is, score one… again.

I could probably make my expectations a little more… obvious too. I suppose that one who never gets because they never ask is as foolish as one who expects the worst and is surprised by what they get.

In closing, I had a thought as I stood in the shower last night. I went totally into self pity zone (thanks to orange juice and rum) and stood there thinking, “No one every surprises me. I’m always left planning my own damn parties. No one ever puts forth actual effort on my behalf, even though I run around efforting my ASS OFF for them…”

Then, as though they were echoing back to me, I actually heard my own mental words in my ears and realized what I was doing. That’s no way to get what you want.

And so I changed my mental commentary immediately to, “MAN I LOVE SURPRISES! I love feeling happy and appreciated and wonderfully surprised! I <3 surprises that make me smile!!” And that’s just where I’m going to leave Mother’s Day for this year.

~OxOxx ∞

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