What Will Be Will Be

July 29th, 2011

My life has been a little different for the past couple of weeks.  I don’t remember how it happened, but I ended up on youtube watching this video about comet Elenin, which previously I hadn’t know existed.

The short of it is this: Comet Elenin, discovered in December 2010 by Leonid Elenin, amateur astronomer.  It’s basically cruising right through our solar system where it will loop around our sun and shoot back off into outer space.

There are some videos on youtube saying that the largest earthquakes we’ve had in the past couple of years have happened as Elenin has been inbound, and when it aligns itself with our earth and sun.  This is the evidence they’re putting forth as proof that Elenin is much, much larger and more dense than the government is telling us.

This is the first video I watched on Elenin, when I discovered its existence.

You can see the orbit diagram he uses in the video here.  If you can’t see it after clicking “show orbit diagram,” try a different browser or update your java.

This thoroughly scared the shit out of me… just like it was supposed to I imagine.  I felt like I’d just been given a death sentence. How horrible to be aware of when your last day will likely be.

Suddenly everything in my life lost meaning.  I didn’t want to write… what’s the point?  I spent long moments gazing at my husband and children, just watching them be who they are, and appreciating it.

I don’t generally scare easily, but yeah… this Elenin thing has my attention.

NASA maintains that Elenin is simply a comet, and a small one at that, that will pass harmlessly by out planet, and could possibly not even be bright enough to be seen with the naked eye.

Other theories range from an actual collision with earth to this actually being Nibiru/planet X/a dwarf star that will pull us out of orbit, flip our planet, steal our moon, burn us up, tear us apart, etc…

This guy has a really interesting point of view.  He’s also well known in the field.  My favorite part is that he refers to videos like the above youtube video, “Fear Porn.”  Never heard it put more accurately.


So, what is it?  I don’t know.  Am I worried about it?  I try not to be.  What I am doing though is, yelling less, loving more, eating carbs… a lot of them, laughing as much as I can, and trying to REALLY appreciate the life I’m currently standing in.  It really is a beautiful life, and I’ll be so sad if it’s over anytime soon.

 

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The Weird Girl

June 18th, 2011

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.” ~Mark Twain

I have GOT to stop apologizing for myself.  I do this thing where no matter what I say or do or even FEEL, I quickly follow it up with something like, “I know, I’m weird… sorry.”

The truth is, I’m really not all that weird.  In my heart, I know this.  I know that many people cannot see past these three dimensions and anything that happens to them that hints at a more expansive, divine reality is quickly shoved under the rug.

No one wants to be thought of as being weird.  No one wants to think that other people find them strange.

People’s acceptance of themselves is directly hinged on other people’s acceptance of them.  This isn’t me.  I mean, it IS me because I was raised and programed that way, but I’ve been breaking those bonds a little at a time for years.

Today, as I sit here, 99% of the planet could be whispering about how strange I am, and I really couldn’t care less.  Not until one of the 99% is standing in front of me at least.  That’s when I start making excuses and apologies.

No more.

So I talk to angels, and truly believe they’re there, even when I can’t see them.  They answer me and what they say is true and verifiable.  Why does that have to make me weird?  How many people wish they could close their eyes and call out to an actual angel and get an immediate, personal response?  Just because I practice and they wish and scoff doesn’t make me weird.

If they only knew that they ARE capable, I’m sure I would seem less weird.

So I talk to my garden.  There’s scientific (because that’s what they care about most, right?) data that supports talking to plants and proves that there’s measurable benefit.  Why do I feel the need to hide my true nature?  Why do I deny myself?

I hide much of myself.  Even from the one that loves me because of my strange.  Why do I do that?

I’ve always tried to embrace my weird.  I have a bumper sticker that’s stuck to the side of my fridge stating, “I’m not weird, I’m gifted!”

I guess I’m just afraid of not being accepted… Not by all those who would reject me, but by those I already love.  Friends, family.  I spent a good portion of my life being actively rejected by the man who was supposed to be acting as my father, and I know I have some issues still wrapped up tight in there.

Here comes the weird…. I chose an angel card yesterday, asking, “What is it that my angels would like me to know today?”  I drew Archangel Uriel who is apparently all about psychological and emotional stuff.

As soon as I drew Him, I knew I was supposed to keep Him out of the deck, and connect to Him daily.  I know I’m dealing with some sneaky issues, and I know Archangel Uriel is with me now to help me… and I’m gonna let Him.

And I guess this is my lesson today.  It dropped right into my lap and got me thinking before I’d even finished my coffee.

Today, I will be true to myself.  I will act in authentic ways with no apologies.  I will wave my weird around!  Let my freak flag fly!  Let my strange, shine!

I am that I am.

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Finding Heaven

June 15th, 2011

Me and the boys cleaned out the van yesterday and got loaded up, ready to go fishing.

When everything was ready, we got in and I started it up.  The song that came on the radio as the van roared to life was Brad Paisley, I’m Gonna Miss Her.  A song about fishing.  We laughed at that.  How synchronous ♥

When it was finishing up, Michael says, “Wouldn’t it be funny if  She Thinks We’re Just Fishin by Trace Adkins came on next?”

The song ends.  We all hang in the silence, waiting for the next song to start… It’s not Trace Adkins.

Among a chorus of  “Awwwwww”  from the back seat I say, “Well, what are the chances they’d play two fishin’ songs in a row?”

And then the new lyrics begin…

Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge.  A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished.

All our heads whipped around and we stared at each other…. Then we all burst into hysterical laughter!

I thought it was ironic that the song that synchronously demonstrated just how close heaven really is was called, “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” by Justin Moore.

Which was apparently the theme of the day thereafter because we then heard Offspring, Gone Away whose chorus says, “And it feels, yeah it feels like, heaven’s so far away”… Then Warrant sang for us, “Heaven isn’t too far away… Closer to it every day…

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Full Moon today, with a lunar eclipse!

The Moon Group is meeting from 4:00 – 4:30 pm EDT(NY) for a group meditation.  The Moon is completely full at 4:14 pm and the eclipse is total at 4:12 pm.  How convenient.

For more information on how to participate, you can visit this page.

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