August New Moon Conclusion

September 8th, 2010

Can you believe we’re here already?!

Closing in on September’s New Moon.  Seems like the year just started.  I spent more time than ever before being mindful and present in whatever moment I found myself, and still time stole away into the future when I wasn’t looking.  And so fast.  Seems only moments ago I was shoveling away new fallen snow from the front walk and throwing snowballs at unsuspecting victims (insert evil laugh), and now here I am, closing windows against the chill.

I even just realized in this very moment that there are scores of hummingbirds missing too.  They’re not completely gone, but with the high temperatures reaching only 60 to 70, they’re sure humming their tunes around here less.  Soon… Exit stage left.

It makes me a little sad to see the summer waning, but I really love the autumn.  It is, by far, my very favorite of all four seasons.  I noticed, as I sat on the back step the other morning, that everything looked dull.  The bright green of the summer was passing.

I’ve always loved watching as the leaves turn colors in the fall, but I never before noticed the way in which is happens.  The leaves don’t turn from a summer’s warm green to an autumn’s royal red.  The summer’s warm green drains slowly away from the leaf leaving behind this pale, grayed version of itself.

Then, as though being kissed by the autumn breezes blowing by, the tips of the leaves begin to darken.  Then the main veins.  Then the tint spreads out to cover the remaining areas.

I was struck by this Sunday morning and wrote about it.  Luminosity in Limbo.

It made me think of life.  How you can be moving along through the summer, and everything is good and green and beautiful.  And then a chill moves through your life and what once colored your world begins to drain away, and you’re left with only a cold and gray version of what you feel you once were.

But then the most wonderful thing happens because out of that chill, change happens, and suddenly you are different.  Only a little, but something is definitely new.  Then it spreads further through you until you find yourself this stunning, new and vibrant version of you.  A version so much more than you’d expected.  Divine.

I ♥  Autumn

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Last cycle, I’d intended to implement some pretty big changes into the lives of the people in my family, and I did.  I count last cycle as a complete and stunning success!  Truly.  I am so happy with myself and with everything overall.

My kids were a little resistant to not eating school lunches anymore, but I try to keep their lunches upbeat and changing so it’s been fine thus far.  One little concession I did make was that I’m allowing them to pick one meal a week off the school menu that they REALLY like, but the other four days, I pack for them.  They begged.  And for how little processed or junk food is in their lives, I suppose it won’t kill them.

Mike and brother have been home for lunch on all scheduled days and I’ve gotten menu planning, list making, and shopping days down to a science.  I even have a house cleaning routine worked out that I’ve been able to stick to and the house has remained near spotless!

The little faerie witch in me brought a ritual to the table this cycle, too.  My supplements.  I can now cross them off my intention list as habitual and complete.  I got myself a little, plain, white desk calendar and a red pen and put them on my dresser in my “dressing area.”  The end of my quick morning routine finds me standing there after making my bed and I now have a little conscious ritual I go through as I take my supplements and then I just X off the day on the calendar.  I haven’t missed a day in weeks.

Eating with intention and purpose is an ongoing effort and likely it always will be.  It’s just something I must remember and choose to do and practice at.

I haven’t been riding with the dogs, or getting any other exercise for that matter.  That’s got to change!  I’ve even gained a little weight over the last month or so.  After losing so much weight with the sorbitol ordeal, and then feeling SO much better… I think my eating has gotten away with me a little.  Couple that with not exercising and I’m up a few pounds.  I don’t even know how many.  I haven’t weighed myself, but my pants are feeling awfully snug lately (damn Snickers bars).

I haven’t been getting up at the same time every day but mornings have been smooth and unrushed, and I’ve even been COOKING breakfast most mornings, so frankly, I don’t care.  Unless mornings become an issue, I’m not going to worry about it.  Too many mornings, the warm man in my bed is impossible to leave.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

This past cycle has seemed effortless.  All the changes came so easily.  I’ve been on some pretty interesting Joy Quests lately that have involved me going pretty far outside my comfort zone.  I have to admit that things seem to manifest faster into my life when I am out having fun!  How’s that for incentive?  But really, life has been so smooth and effortless over the last moon cycle and I HAVE to acknowledge that I am completely aware that it’s directly related to the highs I’ve been enjoying lately.

* * * * * * * * * * *

My affirmations until ….. ? I LOVE these 3!!!~
I AM a miracle in motion~ Only more miracles can come from me*
My words have power~ I will choose them wisely*
Wonderful new experiences give me wonderful new ways to express the divinity that I am*

~ OxOxx

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Seeking Life

August 29th, 2010

Happy Spirit day, my friends :)

Last night we attended Mike’s boss’ annual pig roast… And I got drunk and sang karaoke!

Some people really love to sing karaoke, and do it on a fairly regular basis.  I am not one of those people.  I did it last year at the boss’ party for the first time.  Once I worked through the terror and the feeling that I was gonna throw up, it wasn’t so bad.

This year I was just as anxious.  I had to keep pep talking myself into it.

“You’ve done this before.  It’s no big deal.  You LOVE to sing.  No one booo’d you off stage.  They’re drinking too and don’t care.  Besides, you sound better than half of them.  At least you keep tempo and KNOW the songs…”

So with that, I got up and opened with The Beatles, When I’m Sixty-Four.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I’m trying to live… as a verb.  Not live as a passive bump-on-a-log like I’ve been doing for 12 years now.

I’m trying to get out there and do real things…. new things.  Inside these walls, I have more experience than I really know what to do with.  Out there, I have none.

I want to do more things that make me anxious and want to throw up… In a good way of course.

I want to feel that high, tingly, anxious, exhilarated, terrified like when you’re on a roller-coaster feeling!  I want this feeling to be a part of my, maybe not everyday, but normal life.

I am bored because I am boring.  There is so much out there and I long to find and experience it.

I want life to experience ME… authentically, as I am.  I want to share ME with the rest of the world as readily as I want to soak up the experiences of all of It.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I’d intended to take guitar lessons with Michael this fall, and I still intend to do it, but I think we’ve had a minor change in plans.

Michael has just started a band class in school that will go on for six weeks.  At the end of the six weeks, the kids who want to actually BE in the band will stay, and the rest will return to normal classes.  I’m going to wait until the end of these six weeks to start guitar with him because I want him to learn everything they have to teach him about music.

Because I don’t want to wait that long, myself, and because I don’t want to start guitar without him because we won’t be in the same place then and won’t get the discount, I think I’m going to start taking piano lessons in the meantime.

I have always loved piano music and have wanted to learn to play piano for as long as I can remember.  Yep, just typing it out makes me a little anxious and a little nauseated. LOL

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I am learning that it’s that exhilarated feeling that creates.

It’s that feeling of overflowing joy beyond verbal expression that connects me right to the Universe.  When I cultivate that feeling within me as I’ve been doing for a few weeks now, I feel as though I’m sitting right in God’s lap…. Like God is actually Santa and whatever I throw out there while on the lap will readily come flyin’ at me.

Doing things I love to do is good.  I mean like, writing, riding my bike, walking in nature, playing with my dogs, etc…

These are all great feeling things that help me to create happiness in my life.  But I’m also finding that, when I get the shot of super high exhilaration, it creates faster.

So I will.  I will seek things that scare the crap out of me.  I will seek things I’ve never done.  I will seek things… feelings, experiences… all of it.

I am a seeker.

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Outside the Comfort Zone

August 24th, 2010

Greetings all, on this beautiful Full Moon :)

I’m experiencing a lot of change right now, and I think I’ve actually got it all under control.  A little bit of planning ahead, organization, and routine.  I’m determined to feed my family better, more often.

I made up a menu for the week that includes cooking for lunch and leftovers for dinner, plus the occasional leftover morph into something new.  It occurred to me last night that if I made such a detailed menu up for a few weeks in a row, I would have an out-right blue print of smooth menu weeks, and that would make it VERY easy to go back and repeat entire weeks.  I would have already done all the thinking involved.

I also made a menu for the boys’ lunches.  They now have groups of side dishes associated with days of the week.  I can run that on auto pilot.  I only have to change up the main attraction!

See the family menu here…  and the boys’ automated side dishes here

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I’m going on a new Joy Quest this cycle too!!

I’m going to be experiencing something new very soon that I’m SUPER excited about, and yet completely terrified. LOL

Michael has been begging for a guitar and lessons for a couple years now.  Our deal was, “Once you master the recorder in fourth grade and have a basic understanding of reading music, then we’ll talk guitar.  Probably the beginning of fifth grade.”

Well, I can’t even believe it, but he starts fifth grade TOMORROW!

And he did master the recorder and reading music just as I’d asked him to.  So, Probably next week he’s going to start guitar lessons.

But as I was about to call to inquire, I had a sudden realization.  I should TOTALLY go take lessons too!  I’ve always wanted to learn an instrument beyond my short stint with the flute in fifth grade.  Piano and guitar.  Those are my top 2 favorite instruments.

And the more I sat and pondered the idea of actually taking guitar lessons, the more excited I became.  I mean, I was vibrating from the inside so tremendously, it felt like it should have been visible from outside of me.

After I called and found out that Michael and I can take the lessons TOGETHER and get a discount because we’re going for the same instrument and we’re in the same place knowledge wise, I realized how completely terrified I am.  LOL

This is WAY out of my comfort zone!!!

I have to do it though.  I’m more excited than afraid.

It’s the sort of fear that you feel as the cart tops the first BIG hill on the roller coaster track.  You’re about 99% sure you’ll be okay, and you’re terrified and yet exhilarated at the same time.  You want to laugh out loud, but still, a scream threatens.  Never are you more present in the Now than when your Now is on top of a monster roller coaster hill about to take the plunge…

It’s living!

This is something I’ve always wanted to do.  Until now though, unnoticed.  A dream unheeded.  It’s incredible to me the depth of pleasure I get from simply contemplating this step forward.

With a step this far into pleasure, and this far beyond my comfort zone, I’m excited to see the beautiful ripple effect that will ensue….

* * * * * * * * * * *

My affirmations until ….. ?  I LOVE these 3!!!~
I AM a miracle in motion~ Only more miracles can come from me*
My words have power~ I will choose them wisely*
Wonderful new experiences give me wonderful new ways to express the divinity that I am*

~ OxOxx

Enjoy my post? Visit my Donation Box, post a comment or recommend me to friends!

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