I actually had a woman who’s writing a book called “The Peace Conspiracy” approach me after reading that post and asked my permission to publish it in her book.

Mixed bag.

I would like to briefly elaborate on why I wrote what I did, and then I’d like to tell you how it has benefited me… because YES, it absolutely has been of benefit to me.

I woke up the other morning and rolled right off the wrong side of the bed.  I was feeling emotional and touchy.  That’s fairly out of character for me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

After getting everyone out the door for the day, I sat down and immediately watched a video that one of my friends posted on facebook.  I’ve had several questions regarding the current nuclear disaster in Japan, but was having trouble finding the answers, so when I saw this video, I turned it on right away.

It answered all my questions.

Unfortunately, it also scared the ever-loving-shit out of me.

It was a video filled with the worst news I could have imagined and I was suddenly thrust into a state of utter, profound sadness.  Sadness for my brothers and sisters in the world, sadness for myself and my family, sadness at the state of the planet and what we’ve done to Her.

Out of that deep and seemingly endless sorrow, the words of my post flowed.

I literally cried as I typed it.  I felt every word reverberate through my very soul.  I had to write it out.  I had a speak my fear.  I had to allow myself to feel it to its fullest extent and then allow my words to purge it from me.

After I wrote it out, I felt a little better.  Not much, but some.

And it was an actual prayer.  I know it finished like a prayer, and I want to say that I absolutely was screaming it in my head as a prayer.

“I pray for a sign of hope.  I plead for a sign in faith.”  And I did.

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An hour or so later Doreen Virtue updated her status on Facebook and when I read it, I suddenly felt like I absolutely, more than anything in the world, needed to get my hands on a deck of her Angel Cards.  This is odd for me because I have a deck of Tarot cards.  I love them.  I use them.  We communicate just fine.  I’ve never understood the purpose of having more than one deck of cards for divination.

Pushing those doubts aside, I got my things together and left home, headed toward my favorite metaphysical store.

When I arrived, I’d expected the owner to be there but she wasn’t.  Instead, I met a new woman.  A woman who I seemed to have immense amounts of Spiritual opinion in common with.  We stood and just chatted for an hour.

One of the many things we talked about was energy healing.  This has been a very strong interest of mine and it’s been growing in strength lately.  I feel I am being strongly guided to become a healer, and I felt like everything about this woman and conversation was confirming it for me.  Many of the things she said were SO wildly synchronous for me.

She ended up giving me the name of a woman who can help me to harness the energy movement I’m already capable of so I may transfer it to heal others.  I contacted this woman as soon as I arrived home and was able to set up a time, right away, to get together and get my life’s purpose underway!

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When I got to the store, I knew exactly what I was looking for so I started walking around right away, looking for the cards I was after.  To my dismay, there was THREE different Doreen Virtue divination cards.

The Angel Oracle deck

The Archangel deck

Goddess deck

I thought I wanted the Oracle deck, but the other two were so pretty and I found myself suddenly very indecisive.  I picked up and looked at and held each deck, but I couldn’t set down the Oracle deck.  I’d pick up and look at a new deck with my left hand while holding tight to the Oracle deck with my right.

“This must be the one,” I thought, and so I bought them.

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After our conversation, I left the store and headed home to get kids off the school bus.

After I got them settled into their evening grooves, I went to my room to spend some time with my new cards.

I opened the deck and flipped, lovingly, through them all, touching each one.  Then I held them to my heart and said a prayer over them, blessing them and asking the angels to help me to be a channel for the information I’m to receive.  Then I laid my first spread.

The first question I asked my angels was, “Who is with me closest? Who is my most constant guardian and what do they want me to know?”

It’s a three card spread.

My first card, who denotes who is my guardian, was Opal.

Anyone else in the world would’ve accepted an angel named Opal.  For me?  My “Gram” was Opal.  She is the person whom I was closest to my whole life until 1997 when she died.  I learned everything I know from her, and although she was the Bible thumpinest Christian around, I always felt she was strongly psychic and HIGHLY connected.  I’d always wished I’d had more time with her, and now my very first card turned is Opal.

When I’d looked through the cards, touching each one, I never saw that card.  Not until I asked and turned it.  I was touched so profoundly, and  deeply.  I can’t even describe the surrealness of seeing her name.

My second card is to denote the message from my guardian.  It was “Sonya.”  Sonya is bringing me a message from a deceased loved one.  Seriously?  Like I needed the confirmation, and wasn’t floored enough to meet Opal in card one.

Card three tells how your angel is helping you.  I got Adriana.  Adriana says, “I am leading you toward the answer to your prayers.  Please listen to and follow the steps I am communicating through your intuition, thoughts, and dreams.”

So, Gram is my constant guardian, and she’s whispering in my ear and leading me where I need to go.  Wow!  I was speechless.  I can accept that completely, without question.

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So now, I’d like to sum it all up into a nutshell.

I woke in a terribly emotional and down mood.

I watched a video about current events that made me feel lost, powerless, and profoundly sad.

Instead of trying to push away the awfulness I was feeling, I felt it fully, accepting it and living IN it while it was there.  I wrote my feelings out and cried.  I finished by praying for a sign of hope.

I followed a sudden impulse to go buy a deck of cards I’ve known about for weeks, but have felt no pull what-so-ever to purchase before.  Upon reaching the place where I purchased the cards, I met a woman I felt an immediate kinship with, who gave me VERY valuable information.  I followed the information and was assured by the results that the information was GREAT and exactly what I’d been seeking.

Finally, to seal the deal, after blessing my new deck, I lay my first spread to be told that my deceased grandmother is my constant guardian and that she’s leading me if I will only listen and follow.  Keep in mind had I chosen one of the other decks, Opal wouldn’t have been in there which would’ve taken all meaning away for me.   The Spirit was moving me, and by going along with it, I chose correctly, creating the synchronicity that made ALL the difference.

By the end of that day, which clearly started out rather badly, I felt newly empowered.  If the world is going to fall apart and there’s nothing I can do to STOP it… then what could be better than being able to heal.

If what’s happening is beyond my control, then I should take control where I am able.  I am interested in being a healer.  I’ve been moving slowly in that direction for about a year or so now.

As far as I’m concerned, the next best thing to stopping the madness from happening is to heal it once it’s over.

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In closing… I’m glad I allowed my feelings to be as they were.  I’m glad I didn’t clam up, in fear of my “negative thoughts” and resist the flow of grace through my life.  We feel for a reason.  I believe what’s most important is to acknowledge and honor everything that we feel.

If you don’t like the way you feel, ask for help.  Just pray about it.  A Universe of Angels is waiting to show you what’s meant for you to see.  Allow the energy to flow.

Everything that happens in your life is leading you somewhere you’ve already expressed a desire to be.  I believe that with all my heart.  And every time I’m given an opportunity to PROVE that belief by moving forward in faith, I do.

I’m always rewarded with exactly what I need.

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