I could be finding more enjoyment in my life. I tend to use my life itself as an excuse to not find joy in it.
As a stay-at-home mom, even with kids in school all day, I am still quite limited on what I can go out and do. I’ve mulled over the idea of getting a part time job many times but I always come back to the fact that, I am the mom.
If there’s a kid sick at school, that falls to me. If there’s a kid up in the night who won’t GO to school the next day, that’s on me.
If I’m up once in the night with a kid and he feels fine in the morning and goes to school, I will still have to go to work, sans sleep, and be ready to leave for home at a moments notice should the child in question relapse during the day.
Not to mention, if I’m working part time, all the household chores I’m currently responsible for will CONTINUE to be my responsibility. So all that will happen is that I will take the mountain to things I do to make this household run smoothly and just ADD to it several hours a week where I’ll no longer be home to do these things and instead I’ll be working for a different group of people, somewhere else, for money we don’t need.
We’ve been a one income family for 11 years. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Michael 11 years ago I started staying home. Extra money rarely HURTS a situation, but Mike makes great money and I balance like a wizard at home so a second income has always been unnecessary.
So back to the joy, or more, the lack thereof. I find myself bored too often. I think being bored is almost like a slap in the face to the Universe. All this magnificence and you’re BORED?! I’ve also been feeling very aware of the fact that I need something more in my life. I need something… enjoyable. I need to find something that creates more moments of happy contentedness. This was what I was feeling as I went to bed last night.
Tomorrow, I will find more joy.
As a side note, I have begun listening to audio books in earnest lately. I have always enjoyed them, but I’m doing it with purpose now. I may begin writing short reviews or I may simply recommend the ones I liked. I’m not sure yet. But I AM (as of the past 3 days) finding more joy in audio books! I was even looking forward to getting up this morning because I’m sure to finish the book I’m currently listing to, today.
So I woke up to the radio at 7:30 this morning feeling rested and refreshed. My feet hit the floor and my mind started my to-do list, and then I just stopped. Right in the middle of the hallway. Today I will find more joy. If I don’t enjoy my life, then what’s the point?
Remembering my intention for the day brought an immediate energy to me. I felt… hopeful. As I continued on into the living room to let the dogs out I thought, “How wonderful that I’ve been reminded of my joy seeking intention first thing in the morning so I may have the opportunity to carry it with me through the entire day! It’s like a sign from the Universe that I’m being supported in my joy quest..”
I turned, opened the front door and ushered the dogs out onto the front porch. Finding the temp still warm from our high of 78 yesterday, I walked all the way out onto the porch in my jammie pants and bare feet. As soon as I was completely out; far enough to see the robins seeking their breakfast among the grass; far enough to see the morning sun filtering through the budding branches of the trees to the east; far enough to have no roof above my head. As soon as I took it alllllll in, the sky opened up and giant drops of rain fell.
I smiled at being baptized by the morning. It’s as though it was waiting for me. Holding the morning earth worship until I arrived.
I tilted my head back to take it all into my soul and that was when I saw it. The talisman of my morning. The bringer of luck and love and perfection… there on the horizon… just for me.
I’ve never started my morning by being given a rainbow less than 3 minutes out of bed. Talk about your joy quest! (Now that I’m looking at the uploaded pic…. am I the only one who sees the second, much dimmer rainbow to the right?)
I hope you ALL have a joy filled day.
PS. I have never in all my life been so happy to see dandelions in my yard! I also have some other flowers popping up that my joy seeking self will take pics of later today!
PPS. I’d also like to add one last contribution to Ash’s birthday! I sent her messages from a couple different email addresses AND on Facebook and Twitter! Seems only fitting to wrap it up on my blog. So!
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY!!!!
Be Blessed *)
