Consciousness « Blooming Where I'm Planted!

Creating Presence

July 18th, 2010

As I sit quietly, alone in my room, I contemplate what it is to become present.

Being present feels different. It’s a shift in consciousness that is actually perceptible. I realize however that often I intend to be present and yet I am not. My mind is somewhere else or wrapped up in some recent drama and while I think I’m being present in the Now, I actually am not.

How do I know the difference? Well, I sort of said it already.

I think I’m being present.

If you are truly present in the moment at hand, then you cannot be thinking. “Being” is an observational state, not a thinking state.

I did something today that I thought was sort of neat and it illustrates the difference between a normal, everyday state of mind and being present. It brings the same sort of mental shift that is present when you shift your mind from your thoughts into the Now.

The next time you’re driving down the road in your vehicle, lost in your thoughts, singing along to the radio, catch yourself as you stare out the windshield at the road before you (where you’re going) and pull your focus back from the road “out there” to the windshield itself (where you ARE), right in front of you.

You’ll notice that your thoughts cease. You’ll also notice that you can still see the road (where you’re going) but you are suddenly still and present in the moment at hand (Now). Before your focus shifted, you were thinking the words to the song on the radio and in your mind, you were already at your destination or even at a destination even further into your future, but once you became aware of yourself, and shifted your focus from “out there” to “in here” everything went silent, even if only for a moment.

That’s what happens when you become present in the moment. You still see all the things you saw before, there just stops being a mental commentary that goes along with them. There’s not a constant barrage of words and ideas and judgments that are cluttering up your brain. When that happens, you don’t really see. You may LOOK, but when you walk away and are looking no more, you will remember the mental commentary far clearer than what you saw.

The craziest things about it all though, is that the mental commentary that tries so hard to convince you of it’s validity, is all just repeats of crap you’ve already been over in your head a million times. It’s only purpose is to separate you from the moment in which you ARE because if you realize that the stillness of the moment is all you really need, the ego’s commentary dies. The ego, like every other living being, believes it is separate and must fight for it’s survival. When you realize that you never have to fight, the fight stops.

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I hope you’re having a blessed weekend. I intend to find some time to relax in stillness in nature today and create my coming week! Don’t leave your happiness up to chance! Spend just 5 minutes being present and grateful and imagine an AWESOME week to come. You’ll be glad you did :)

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My affirmation until Sunday, 7-25-10 on the Full Moon~
As I focus upon being happy, all other joy filled things in my life expand*

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Conscious Creation, Conscious Living, Consciousness, Law of Attraction, LOA, Meditation

Dreams, Reality, the Subconscious & Manifestation

June 25th, 2010

I was standing in front of the stove waiting for the water to boil for my coffee first thing this morning and I started to recall what I’d been dreaming. I don’t remember with any detail. Just bits and pieces of weirdness that squeezed through the filter of my awake consciousness…. and that’s when it hit me…

Now, follow me here….

You are awake and living in your awake consciousness. It’s what give you awareness and control over your waking life.
When you sleep, your subconscious is in complete control. When you look back at your dreams, you are aware that it’s YOU in there. It’s YOU making choices and decisions and worrying, but you’re not conscious during it, therefore it doesn’t become a lucid dream…. but remains visions from your subconscious.

Now… it’s the SUBconscious that really creates in your life. When we say affirmations, it’s because we’re trying to impress upon our subconscious that the words we say are true so our subconscious can go ahead and manifest what we’ve already stated as true. It’s the same with visualization. The idea is to SEE it in as much detail as possible because your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between what it sees and what you imagine…..

Which brings me to my point.

My dreams are SO bizarre! I mean, seriously… how can my consciousness NOT become aware that I’m in a dream? The things that happen are SO far out of this world and fantastic that I really can’t understand why SEEING the illusions and becoming lucid during sleep isn’t easier than it is… because seriously… how totally WEIRD do things have to be before you realize they’re not really happening.

And then I thought….

Wow. Look at all the things that WE label as impossible. All the events and situations and manifestations that we automatically think of as an impossibility. That we THINK of… That’s the key. In my dreams, I don’t think. Not really. I think my way out of situations and such, but I never stop to consider if what I want to do is possible or not. In my dreams, EVERYTHING is possible. Without exception.

Which leads me to….

Wow. My subconscious really DOESN’T know what’s real and what’s not. I see flying things and odd people and beings and strange floating places and all these very odd, sci-fi worthy things and as far as my subconscious is concerned, this is just another day, another dollar. How hard could it be, I mean really, to convince my subconscious to manifest something I sort of think of as impossible when it manifests flying cars in my dreams without question. I don’t consciously ASK for flying cars, but there must be remnants of flying cars in my head somewhere or they wouldn’t manifest in my dreams, right?

So this is what is on my mind so far this morning. It really brought to light for me, the concept that, my subconscious really doesn’t HAVE any limits. My only true limits are the ones I impose on myself. I mean, we all know that. That’s one of the first things we learn when we begin learning about conscious creation and the law of attraction. But still we don’t completely comprehend it because if we did, we’d already have found everything we seek.

What do you dream about? What amazing feats do you accomplish in the night that your conscious mind would never allow during the day? You are enthralled inside your dreams. Every detail is just as real as the grass under your feet. You never question reality or possibility when your subconscious is in control. It already knows there are no limits.

A part of you already knows there are no limits.

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My affirmation until 6-26-10~ I am a powerful creator manifesting form with pure thought.

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Consciousness, Manifestation, Subconscious

Mother’s Day Depression

May 10th, 2010

I hate Mother’s Day.

Mike sucks.

That’s nothing new though, so I don’t express that with an inflection of surprise. It’s more of an air of expectancy and annoyance.

“El” centered holidays suck for me and I want it to be different. I want to feel good and happy.

When it’s someone’s birthday, they get their favorite meal for dinner. Lunch too depending on what day of the week their birthday falls on. They get heart shaped pancakes and a nicely wrapped gift and their meal of choice. Father’s day? Don’t get me started.

Everyone else gets the goods. Why? Because I am the mom and mom is the goods giver. If there’s planning, mom does it. If there’s cooking, mom does it. If there’s shopping and/or wrapping, no worries… mom does it.

Then comes Mother’s Day…. and everyone does the exact same things that they do for everything else….. NOTHING.

Well no, that’s not fair.

Eddie handmade a card at school where they also helped him pot a petunia in a plastic cup for me.

Michael spent the morning making me a Mother’s Day card, which as my artist, was beautiful of course.

I love handmade cards. They’re by far my favorite thing to receive.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Okay, so the people to whom I AM a mother to, DID actually acknowledge me for Mother’s Day. I just go so far out of my way so often for them all, I guess I just expect them to do the same for me. And by them, I mean Him.

But he doesn’t.

Expectations are a funny thing.

That’s the only thing that really made me upset. Not Mike. Not lack of appreciation (because if I’m honest, I’m much appreciated and I know it). It was the expectation. And the funniest thing about it is… I actually got what I expected. Mike did nothing and life went on as though it were any other Sunday for him.

Should I be mad?

I go on and on about how much made up holidays annoy me. The ones that are obviously geared towards the consumer spending all their money in an attempt to prove their love. Valentines…. Mother’s day… Father’s day… sweetest day… not to mention all the tinier, stupider ones in between like… secretary’s day and boss’ day and grandparents day. I’m not saying that all those people don’t deserve acknowledgment, but there’s a $4 greeting card for each occasion. Necessary? Not.

SO…. on Mother’s Day… the people who sprung forth from my body acknowledged me and expressed their love and gratitude. We didn’t go out to dinner. Not because Mike sucks but because I’d rather not. I’ve cooked for the past few days and there’s a fridge full of leftovers, so I didn’t have to cook. That was nice.

Okay, I’m not mad anymore I guess. I DID get what I expected. I only expected it because that’s what I’ve always gotten, but in the world of intention/manifestation, it can be argued that until I choose to expect something different, I will continue to receive the same things.

Ah, score one for learned neurosis. That is, score one… again.

I could probably make my expectations a little more… obvious too. I suppose that one who never gets because they never ask is as foolish as one who expects the worst and is surprised by what they get.

In closing, I had a thought as I stood in the shower last night. I went totally into self pity zone (thanks to orange juice and rum) and stood there thinking, “No one every surprises me. I’m always left planning my own damn parties. No one ever puts forth actual effort on my behalf, even though I run around efforting my ASS OFF for them…”

Then, as though they were echoing back to me, I actually heard my own mental words in my ears and realized what I was doing. That’s no way to get what you want.

And so I changed my mental commentary immediately to, “MAN I LOVE SURPRISES! I love feeling happy and appreciated and wonderfully surprised! I <3 surprises that make me smile!!” And that’s just where I’m going to leave Mother’s Day for this year.

~OxOxx ∞

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