Full Moon Mishap Turned Manifestation

February 18th, 2011

Last night, or more specifically at 3:36am EST this morning, was the Full Moon in Leo, which only lasted for an hour until 4:39am when the moon went into Virgo.

I, weirdo that I am, wanted to be awake between 3 and 3:30 so I would be awake for that small window.

This, I knew, wouldn’t be a problem.  My internal clock is pretty darned reliable.  At that moment, I looked at the clock (and it’s still mid afternoon at this point) and took note of the time and set an intention in my mind to be awake for the Full Moon in Leo at 3:36am.

As the evening wore on, I was actually oddly excited about being awake and meditatively receptive when the Moon underwent Her changes.

Then the thought struck me;

My internal CLOCK is in good running condition.  It wakes me up every morning.  I fail to rise often, however, simply because being drowsy and warm in my bed is far more inviting.  I hope I’m able to be awake enough that I don’t talk myself out of this at 3:30.  I hope I don’t just note the time and roll over going directly back to sleep, never having remembered WANTING to awaken.

These worries stalked the corners of my mind for the rest of the night.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Back in the beginning of January, we installed a wood stove in the sun room.  I lovingly refer to my bedroom as “The East Wing” because basically the whole east end of the house is the master’s suite.  The sun room has a private entrance from my room.

Since we’ve begun keeping a small amount of wood stacked neatly in the sun room, we’ve noticed there are more bugs in the house.  Ladybugs, “stink bugs”, and ants mostly.  I think they hitch a ride in, inside the wood, and wake up when they warm up.

We’ve decided to start keeping wood outside and very close by instead of INSIDE.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

3:06 am* Exactly 30 minutes before “show time” last night, also known as this morning.

The covers fly from my body.  The bed shakes, and quivers.  A bright light bursts through the darkness, blinding me save for the array of blue and green orbs of shock that float behind my eyelids.

“What the hell are you DOING?!” I ask, not hiding my irritation at the rude awakening.

“There’s a bug of some sort in the DAMN BED!” Mike shrieks! (yeah, shrieks. He’s kind of a bitch about bugs of any kind in his bed where he’s naked)

So, all the blankets came off, and he shook them all out, and looked the bed over.  Then he scowled at me in not a very nice way when I pointed out that the bug he was looking for most likely had wings, and would probably not be found on the floor where he was currently on his hands and knees, looking.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I was not only awakened in the correct time frame, but I was given inspiration to get out of, and away from my bed.  I was up for the entire hour in Leo, and then some.  It was perfectly executed.

Dear Universe,

Real subtle.  Kind of amusing.  Thanks for always responding to me.

I Love You Too~
El

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Sweet Madness & Glorious Sadness

January 19th, 2011

I’ve recently had a weird epiphany.

I am a crier.  I cry about everything.  Not an openly sobbing lunatic, but I get choked up VERY easy.  I’ve very sensitive to being yelled at, or witnessing any kind of abuse to anything, or violence of any sort.  I’m also very sensitive to displays of affection, and touching moments, and cute babies of any genus-species.

I’ve always hated this about myself.  I have VERY little control over it.  I find it embarrassing to go to a movie theater because every movie has a scene that will choke me up, tough.  And most make me teary.

It’s like tears are just my body’s primary outlet for overwhelming energy release.

So, I got to thinking the other day that, watching love stories, alone, in the comfort of my own home is almost like…  a guilty pleasure.  I feel mildly ridiculous as I sit and bawl, putting my entire heart into the characters and plots, but I LOVE movies.  I love being pulled into a story and living a different life and feeling the feelings of the characters.

Dirty Dancing gets me every single time I watch it, and I’ve seen it 50+ times.  It is my all time favorite movie.  My second all time favorite movie is City of Angels with Meg Ryan and Nicholas Cage.  It was during the latter that I had this epiphany.

For those who haven’t seen this masterpiece, it is the most amazing love story.

Meg is a heart doc and Nick comes (he’s an angel) to collect the patient that’s on her operating table.  When he sees her, he falls in love with her.  He follows her a while, and eventually shows himself to her.  He can be of solid substance, but he can’t feel. He lacks the senses of the body form. When he touches her, she can feel his touch, but he has no conscious perception to experience “touch.”

He finds out that he has free will and can “fall” to Earth and become human when he meets a fallen angel in the hospital, and he makes up his mind to “fall” for Meg when he learns she plans to wed the wrong man.

Here’s the spoiler….

He falls and finds her, and she loves him and hasn’t married the other man.

They spend one amazing night together and on a trip returning from the store in the morning, Meg is hit by a truck and dies.  He’s asked, “If you’d known this was going to happen before ya did it, would you still have done it(?), and he replied… “I would rather have had one breath of her hair… one kiss of her mouth… one touch of her hand… than an eternity without it.  One.”

I pulled the movie up on Netflix just now so I had that quote perfect and it made me cry. LOL

But that was when it HIT me!  He fell to Earth JUST to FEEL.  That was the whole goal.  He was the neutral.

You know how you hear, it’s not bad that there’s “bad” because without it, we couldn’t have good.  The duality of all things.  Yin and Yang.  Up and down.  There’s two sides to EVERY coin.

The ability to feel it all, good and bad, right or wrong… the ability to feeeeeel it is SUCH a gift!

I’m not “emotional” because I cry so easily.  I cry very easily because I feel things with such great depth.  I feel sadness so completely when it comes, but I feel joy with the same completeness.

I think this is also a great deal to do with why I have always had such ease in manifesting.  I’ve always loved often and deeply.  Even in the worst of times in my life, there was always someone or something in which I poured all my love.  Often not even in action, but only in my thoughts and daydreams.

My husband gets a lot of love.  When I lay next to him and have my face in the crook of his neck and shoulder, the smell of him makes me feel as though I’m ACTUALLY glowing in adoration.  It’s so intense sometimes that I feel a literal heat in my heart chakra.  The gift isn’t the fact that he loves me… although that IS a pretty mind blowing thing.  The gift is that I get the honor of feeling those feelings.

It’s the honor of getting to feel that is truly the greatest gift in life I think…

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2011

January 1st, 2011

I felt like there should be one more post in 2010, so here I am!! (… is what I was thinking last night as I wrote this post before I fell asleep and forgot to send it…)

What a fantastic year it’s been.  I’ve made new friends, and moved on from old ones (or have TRIED to at least, if the last one would stop being a voyeur to my life and let me be…).  I’ve changed my thinking a lot and taken on some new perspectives.

I’ve become more organized and made great strides in being a more involved and active wife and mother.

Life has been good!  As if it could be anything but.

I’ve decided that my main focus in 2011 will be “Simplify.”

We have too much.  An abundance to be sure.  It’s time to clear out and cut back and simplify, simplify, simplify.

My first acts of simplification have been to go through a ton of clothes setting aside a few BAGS to be given away, and to put into my home, a wood burning stove.  We’re not heating our entire house this way, but it will reduce energy consumption and HAS to be greener than electric, gas, or fuel oil heat.

I’ve made a list for myself with each item starting with, “I want,” and it currently sports 37 items.  Not items like things, but items like, points of focus.  Energy and habits and things I want to create for myself in the coming year.  Areas of growth.  Who I will be in the new year.

I was going to post it here, but as I’ve really gotten into writing it, I’ve been really honest with myself and in turn, decided that this list is just far too personal to share with cyberland.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I will share one of the big ones with you though, and that is to be less wasteful.  I’m bad for fixing dinner and not putting away all the ingredients I got out.  OR fixing dinner and forgetting to put all the leftovers in the fridge.  Or making a large amount of food intending specifically to either eat it for another meal, or morph it into something else, but never doing it.

I’ve been, more often than not, making menu plans and mostly following them in an effort to simplify my life since taking on home-cooked lunches for my family, and that has helped us to waste less food.  I still see too much food being thrown away, so I intend to get a grip on that, right now.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I hope you have your own list for 2011.  Even if there’s only one or two things on it, give yourself some goals and direction in 2011.  It makes one feel so much more focused and accomplished when you know what you’re working towards.

Today, I’m working toward normalcy.  Traditionally, New Years Day is the day we take down all our holiday decorations and pack them away again until next year.  As much as I love having an actual, live tree in my living room, I love the serenity of my clean, normal home.

And cleaning up decorations means the major holidays are OVER!!  Yay!!!

Happy New Year!! ~

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