I got this comment on my “A Non-Toxic Life” post and it REALLY got my brain working so I wanted to really answer it thoroughly and I thought a blog post would be the best way.
Thanks so much, Debby, for your comments, well wishes, and questions.
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El, I feel for you. Thank you for the warning to your readers.
I would be furious. Are you angry? at whom?
the gum company, the government who allowed it?
yourself? the angels who didn’t stop you? How do you get past the anger. I have anger issues and haven’t figured it out how to deal with the feeling of being screwed.
El, we are glad you are feeling better and hope there is no lasting damage. Speedy healing.
Debby
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When I read this, I was completely struck by what a fantastic question it was. It REALLY gave me something to think about. I chewed on it for a little bit and wasn’t really sure HOW I felt about it all. I know that sounds odd. I thought it was odd, myself, when I realized it.
Am I angry about what happened to me?
My first instinct was to say… yeah… a little. I mean, it sorta pisses me off the way things are run. The way they take a new drug or additive or preservative and do 10 studies on it, and have 7 of the 10 studies find that it is likely harmful, and so the other 3 studies are the ones that get published. It all comes back to money. Always.
But once I passed through those thoughts, I came back to my true belief, and that is….
We are all responsible for ourselves.
It’s my job to educate myself and know what I want and what I don’t and to arrange and live my life accordingly, and in the most conscious way I am able. Really… I’m a little angry with myself because I AM a chronic label reader. How could I have eaten something on a daily basis having never even glanced at the label on it?! I know better. I DO better. I don’t know why I never thought to do it.
I realized something really wonderful though. The silver lining. The manifestation that came out of the disruption.
Through this entire ordeal, I’ve spent loads of time in bed and have had loads of time to myself to think. I’ve been thinking about reading labels and the things we put into our bodies and just how conscious we are about our health and how much more conscious we could possibly be and I made a decision.
See, my husband and his brother work together. The also eat lunch together every day. They eat Subway four days of the week, and on the fifth day, my brother-in-law picks his fast food poison of choice and they eat there. And they alternate who pays, every other day.
Well, I decided that I will cook an actual meal at lunchtime and that Mike should come home with his brother and eat here on his days to buy. While I firmly believe that Subway is the lesser evil of everything they COULD be eating for lunch, I am uncomfortable with the amount of preservatives and nitrates and the like that are found in deli meats. Studies have shown that you increase the risk of heart disease by like 40% when you eat processed meats like those more than ONCE a week…. of course here we are with the “studies” again :)
But that’s the whole point. I know what’s in the food. So does he. If he has a heart attack because of all the garbage that he consumed at lunch every day, there’s really no one to blame but US. And that’s why I decided to cook for him more. I’m home. I’m ABLE to do it.
It’s even bigger than that though.
I’ve had an overall goal to live my life more authentically for about a year now. I live like I want to and I believe in myself and my way of being, but I have a way of censoring myself. This blog has been a wonderful catalyst to my finding my voice. I’ve grown tired of censoring myself for people in my “real life” because of what they might think of me or how they might react to some things. So, one of my biggest desires has been to be more at peace with myself so I may live my life authentically. I want to talk the talk and walk the walk and smile and wave, even if they’re not waving back. LOL
Ever since I decided this silly little lunch thing, it’s been so much more profound for me than I imagined. It’s gotten me off my butt and cleaning a little more (which isn’t a bad thing… my house needs it… I’m prone to bored housewife syndrome :)~ ) because I can’t stomach the idea of having an in-law in my house with it cluttered and messy. I’m also recognizing the chance to be a good and positive influence on my brother-in-law. He’s only 38 years old and has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, is at least 80 pounds overweight, and has a host of back problems… and don’t get me started on the list of meds!
So now I’m finding that I get to have better control over the health of MY nearest and dearest, and I get to be an example to someone who really needs the help. He needs to know that eating well isn’t tasteless. Sometimes all we need is a small nudge in the right direction. I’d be honored to be his nudge.
The reason I’m telling you all this though… The reason this is all relevant to the question at hand…
I didn’t connect this new sense of purpose… this new decision… this new “authenticness”… to my ordeal with the sorbitol, but it is directly and immediately connected. It is because of that that this new way of thinking has come about. My level of consciousness has changed and I am now seeing things I didn’t see before and my life is now changing in new and wonderful ways. I grew, as a Spiritual being, as a person, as a mother, as a wife…. I became MORE because of that ordeal with the sorbitol.
So no… I’m not angry. I’ve initiated changes into my life and the lives of those I love that I never would’ve made had I not been bonked over the head with the sorbitol.
It occurred to me also that it was maybe easy for me to say because I’m not permanently damaged physically as a result of it all, but I don’t actually know that yet. I haven’t been fully checked out. But this also brings be back to another root belief of mine. I like it best the way the Christians put it…. If God brought you to it, God will bring you through it.
I think that sometimes we want to move in a certain direction and we have trouble doing it and the Universe just has to reach down and nudge us in the right direction. If you ignore your Universal nudging, the nudge turns to a thrust, then to a shove, then before ya know it, you’re flat on your back wondering what happened. I figure I must’ve been at LEAST to the far side of a thrust. LOL
But when you finally stop resisting and give in to the urging of the Universe, things come together even better than they were before and life just starts working for ya… And right now I really feel like that’s exactly where I am. I wasn’t brought to something that I won’t come through, shining brighter than before.
And I learned a really great lesson… or really RE-learned a lesson that now resonates with me on a deeper level.
I am responsible for me (and my family). If we are to thrive and be well, it is up to ME and no one else. And I would have to say that as Mike is approaching 40, I probably really needed this lesson right now because I happen to be quite fond of him and want to do everything in my power to keep him healthy and happy and here with me. I learned that I have even more power than I thought.
I believe that seeing the good that comes out in direct relation to the bad is the key to understanding and accepting the cycles of life for what they really are…. Just changes. Life must change. I know that these new changes in my life are going to continue. There will be a ripple effect from it and I’m excited to see what wonderful things will happen. It’s all change and it’s all going to happen no matter what. I am just in the habit of rolling with the changes and making them as positive overall as I can.
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My affirmation until Monday, 8-24-10 on the Full Moon~
I AM a miracle in motion~ Only more miracles can come from me*
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