Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category

A Note on Suicide & a Countdown

March 19th, 2011

~ The Nineteen Things I Love About Spring Countdown!! ~

This is it!!  The final day of winter!!  We made it!! Hallelujah!

I think a quick recap is in order.

#19~ The return of the small, furry critters.

#18~ Hearing the ground speak.

#17~ My mailbox stops losing it’s head!!

#16~ BUDS ON LILAC BUSHES!!!

#15~ Thunder Storms.

#14~ Dry Roads.

#13~ The sunshine gets warm again!

#12~ Dog Hair Bird Nests!

#11~ Nesting Birds.

#10~ MORE LIGHT!!

#9~ Schizophrenic Weather.

#8~ Daylight Savings Time!

#7~ Easter aka Eostre.

#6~ The sounds!

#5~ Planning the Garden!

#4~ The Buzzers return!

#3~ Spring Cleaning.

#2~ The Placement of the Sunrise.

And now, without further ado, I give you the #1 thing I love about Spring!!

#1~ GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!

I absolutely ADORE that nearly unnatural shade of super, bright green that seems to overtake the landscape as Spring comes into full swing.  I am part Irish and I’ve always wondered what Ireland would look like in the throws of a passionate Spring.  Already being world renowned for it’s abundance of green, I bet there aren’t even words for the Springtime saturation.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

A note on suicide~

I don’t even really know what to say.  I didn’t plan this part of my post.

I have been having suicide thrust into my face repeatedly the past couple days and just as I was about to close this post, I realized rather suddenly that I should say something about it here.

I’ve had suicide, brought up to me four times in two days by completely unrelated, unconnected people.  And you all know I’m one to go where the Spirit moves me, so here I am.

There is nothing so bad as that.  There’s just not.  I’m not saying it doesn’t suck sometimes, or that it’s not bad, or that you’re not hurting.  But if you’re willing to die and leave it all behind forevermore, then why aren’t you willing to LEAVE physically?

When I really wanted to change my life, I did.  And it wasn’t my thoughts or my habits or anything as self-helpy as that.  I just got the hell away from all the people that I felt were dragging me down.  The ones that took and took and took and took from me.

The energy vampires.

I mean, if you die, you lose all the “bad” but you lose all the good too.  And the only reason the good doesn’t mean all that much anymore is because you can’t see the good when the bad is all stacked up in your face, blocking your view.

But you can walk away!  You can throw your hands up in the air and scream, “FUCK YOU ALL, I’M FINISHED WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!!”

You HAVE that power.

Pack you shit and leave!  Can’t leave your husband?  Well, if you kill yourself, you’ll not only leave him, but you’ll leave him blaming himself.  At least if you express a need to be free and just GO, he can be angry and move on instead of living out his own life always wondering why he didn’t see the signs of your misery.

And that goes for your children, friends, co-workers, any and all family, immediate and extended.

There is so much good in this world.  So much love and light to be had and shared.  But you can’t change your life if you keep your bicycle going around the same block.  You gotta take a road trip and lose your baggage.

If it’s all holding you back enough to want to die, then you’re dragging around WAY more that necessary.

If you are harboring violent thoughts toward yourself, please seek help.  Tell someone.  Tell people you love, because they love you too.

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Magickal Road Trip & a Countdown

March 16th, 2011

~ The Nineteen Things I Love About Spring Countdown!! ~

We left so early and got home so late that I never got yesterday’s countdown out, so today is a double!

#5~ Planning the Garden!

It’s my goal to can enough fresh vegetables that my family can eat all winter.  I want to become more self sufficient where our food is concerned.  There’s been recent talk of chickens too :)

I love sitting down and making a list of all the veggies we love and will grow, and then drawing a “floor plan” for everything.  It’s the garden in my mind that goes on the paper, and the garden on the paper that goes in the Earth.  It’s a very earthy and grounding exercise.

#4~ The Buzzers return!

I love bees.  They’re so tiny and seemingly insignificant, and yet they are among the most amazing creatures on the planet.  The medicinal properties of their honey goes on and on.

Bees became some of my favorite creatures one day as I sat in the middle of my yard, just being in nature.  I sat observing everything.  It was hypnotizing to watch the methodical workings of the honey bees, heavy with pollen, flying from flower to flower.

And then I heard them.

Now, when I step outside in Spring and Summer and close my eyes, the first sounds that find my ears are the bees.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

We left first thing in the morning yesterday, and drove across the top of Pennsylvania, and a couple hours into New York to purchase Mike’s new tow truck :)

The man on the phone said his bottom dollar was $8000, and Mike said the truck was worth it from what he could see in pictures, so we gathered the money and left first thing, in my van, for our road trip.

Mike was out checking the tire pressure and giving the van a once-over before we left, which gave me a few minutes alone, so I sat down on the end of my bed and appealed for the attention of my angels and guides.

I asked that we be surrounded by a love bubble for our trip that would keep us in safety and good health.  I asked for a relaxed, fun trip, and to fully enjoy my time alone with my husband.  Then, just for the heck of it, I asked that maybe we could somehow spend less money while still maintaining quality.  I closed by thanking them for always being with me and for their synchronicities and guidance.

I always ask for a love bubble when I go out.  I actually feel as though there’s a white-ish translucent bubble of love that completely surrounds my van and protects me from anything and everything.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

We leave at 8:45 am. The interstate is only 2 miles from here, so we’re cranked up to 70 mph and plugging along in no time.  The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and it was nearly fifty degrees.  Perfect road trip weather.

We drive along for the first 80 miles just talking and laughing.  I have always enjoyed being with Mike.  He’s always made me laugh.

I sit quietly for a moment and gaze out the window just as we pass a tiny green sign on the side of the highway that notes mile marker 444.

I smile and say a prayer of gratitude remembering that, according to Doreen Virtue, when angels are speaking in numbers, 444 would mean that angels are assisting you with this situation.

About ten minutes later, and by now we’re about to enter New York, we’re coming up on a car that also has an Ohio license plate.  As we approach, I can see that it’s marked “Dealer Plate” and there are two much older gentlemen inside.  One of them looks like the car dealer that we always buy from.  He’s a small town dealer of probably about 70 years in age.  We’ll call him Evan James.

I looked over at Mike and said, “Wow, that guy looks like Evan James,” and laughed.  “Wouldn’t it be super weird to see him out here, so far from home?  And while we’re going to buy a vehicle to-boot!  That’d be hysterical!”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

We pull into the parking lot where the tow truck sits. The couple come out of the building.  They’re retirement age.  They just bought a house in Florida and are now going to split the year between the two homes.  They did very well for themselves with their company.

Mike takes the truck for a ride around the parking lot and then down the road and back.  Once it’s parked again, he comes over and the four of us stand there talking.  He looks over a moment later and sees fluid leaking from the rear end.

After a full inspection by Mike AND the seller, they agreed on what’s wrong (I’d say what it was, but to be honest, when they talk mechanics, it’s like white noise to me), and the two of them walked around the truck together out of earshot.  As they walked back around, Mike was pulling the cash envelope out and mouthed the words “Sixty Five” at me with a grin as he passed.

$6,500 down from a “firm” price of $8,000.  Nice!

We pulled into a gas station up the road on out way out and he told me the part he’ll need is about seventy five dollars and it will take him about two hours to fix.  I don’t know how seventy five dollars and two hours equals fifteen hundred dollars off, but I’m glad it does :)

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

So, we’d decided that, because it’s an unmarked truck, and not technically legal to drive, it would draw attention to itself if it was actually towing something, therefore, I followed Mike in my van.

When we were FINALLY back in Pennsylvania (being originally from PA, it’s close enough to home for me that it’s home… more home than NY for sure)  I did a happy dance and thanked the angels and guides for making it such a great trip.

About 10 minutes later, I glanced over at my clock/radio and saw, to my amusement, that it was precisely 4:44 pm and I was on track 44 of the audio book I was listening to.

It read~ 44 4:44

I laughed to myself.

About ten minutes later, a newer, light blue Cadillac comes creeping up beside me in a slow pass.  I glance to the side and am COMPLETELY and UTTERLY freaking FLABBERGASTED to find myself looking at Evan James!!!!

I grab my cell phone off the seat and call Mike who’s still the next car in front of me and about four or five car lengths away.  It’s ringing as Mr James creeps ever closer to the truck.  I’m practically bouncing in my seat, yelling out loud, “ANSWER THE PHONE! ANSWER THE PHONE!! ANSWER THE PHONE!!”

“Yes Dear?” he says  when he answers.

“EVAN JAMES IS PASSING YOU RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND!!” I yell into the phone.

Mike starts to laugh, “What are the chances?” he says, “Look what you did!”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

It was the most eventfully uneventful trip I’ve ever taken.  Thank God for Angels and Guides.

The Truck

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My Mister & a Countdown

March 14th, 2011

~ The Nineteen Things I Love About Spring Countdown!! ~

Oh boy, oh boy!  Six days to go!   *does happy dance*

#6~ The sounds!

Winter has such a silence to it.  And don’t get me wrong, I love the silence of winter.  I love when you stand outside in the dark, and the world is so still and silent, you can literally hear the snowflakes.  THAT is divine.

Spring brings a whole new set of sounds though.

Rain.

Thunder.

Birds… like… 50 different bird calls, and babies everywhere cheep cheepin’.

And I’m convinced that on nice, snow free days, when I sit in communion with Mother Nature and quiet my mind, I can hear the blades of grass springing up from their winter slumber.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

So much good stuff going on here these days! Tomorrow me and my Mister are driving 3.5 hours to New York to buy a tow truck.  That will mean that he has a tilt bed, a road service truck, and a tow truck.  That will mean that the day he strikes out and becomes his own boss is SOOO close!!  That will mean that I can stop praying everyday that he gets fired.

He’s been working for the same guy for 13 years, and it’s time to stop casting his pearls among swine.  Especially when the swine is really becoming quite the crooked businessman.  We get a choice in who we associate ourselves with.  Why not take advantage, and stay true to ourselves?

And talk about someone who’s embracing his talents and doing what he’s good at.  The other day a semi came into the shop for a rear bumper repair.  Mike walked out and looked at it, turned to the guy and said, “What did you hit?”

The guy said that as far as he was aware, he hadn’t hit anything. He’d just done a walk around before getting back on the road that morning, and saw the damage.

Mike knew he was lying.  Mike also knew that a forest green Dodge Caravan had slammed into the back of the trailer and been dragged for 40 feet before coming loose and being left in the middle of the road as the semi drove off down the road.  He saw it in his mind’s eye as soon as he looked at the bumper.

He went in the shop and called the local police to inquire if there’d been any traffic accidents involving a green Dodge Caravan, and the cop came back a minute later to confirm that there had been.  The driver was in the ICU in critical condition.

He told the cop he had a semi truck with a cab full of beer cans and green paint all over the bumper. Did he look in the cab and see the cans?  Nope.  He just knew they were there.  And actually, he didn’t know.  As he was telling the cop about the truck, the beer can part just rolled out of his mouth.  He wasn’t making it up, or even thinking about it at all.  It was just added information being channeled through him, and he’s so relaxed and allowing of information flow like that, that he just lets the info take over and flow out as it will.

And he wasn’t wrong.  The cab was packed with about 20 empty beer cans.  The driver was still intoxicated enough when the cops arrived that they were able to arrest him and charge him.

Still drunk!  Had Mike welded up the bumper and sent him on his way, he’d have been sending 80,000 pounds of drunk out onto the highway.

As a side note; He also “sees” things that way when things are broken. If a truck comes in because it won’t run, Mike just walks around it once, pauses, walks around it again the opposite way, and stops.  Wherever he stops is where the problem is.  A broken wire or frayed connection.  A fuse.  An air line.  He always knows, and always within minutes.  When he launches his own business, he’s going to have trucks back on the road faster and cheaper than anyone else around.

He’s just that good : )

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