Blooming Where I'm Planted!

We ventured out to our local amusement and water park yesterday with the boys.  We go every summer and they begin looking forward to it on the car ride home the year before.

We were all ready to walk out the door, and I went in my bedroom to do a sweep of the area to make sure I didn’t forget anything.  My eyes scanned over everything, and landed on my tarot cards.  I hadn’t drawn a card in several days and I figured today would be a great day if there ever was one, so I sat down and began to shuffle.

I drew the Tower.

*Sudden, dramatic change, upheaval.   There’s a possibly uncomfortable change on the rise…*

That made me want to worry a little given that we were leaving town for the day.  I decided to let go of the worry by saying a prayer for fun, health, and safety.  Then I let it go and out the door we went.

The amusement park doesn’t open until 1pm.  We always start in the water park because it opens at 11am.  Usually around 2pm we are starving, so we go out to the vehicle where we stretch out with each other and the radio and have a nice picnic lunch.  After lunch, we go through the dry park for a few hours.  Around 5pm, we go back in the water park until 7pm when it closes.  Then it’s back out to the amusement park until it closes at 10pm.  It makes for a busy, exhausting day.

Well….

We were in the water park for about 10 minutes when I realized what my sudden, dramatic change was.  It WAS an upheaval and it WAS uncomfortable.  And it was certainly sudden and dramatic.

For the first time ever, my boys went off to play in the water park by themselves.  They left Mike and I to float around the “Endless River” on tubes alone.  I wanted to cry.  When did my babies grow up?

We didn’t even talk about it before hand.  We got inside and Michael looked at us and said, “Can we go by ourselves?”

Mike and I looked at each other and he said, “Well, it IS completely enclosed.  There ARE 4 or 5 lifeguards at every post, AND only one door out….”

Then he looked at the boys and said, “You are not to leave the water park for any reason and if someone tries to make you leave, you sit down wherever you are and scream your head off… That way everyone will know something isn’t right… Okay?”

There was an immediate round of nods and agreements and then, BAM… my babies grew up right before my eyes.

I’m trying to hold tight to the perspective, “Isn’t is wonderful to watch the growth of these two little people?!  Isn’t it beautiful how they are becoming whoever they’re going to be and I get to influence them and help them to truly know who they are?!”

I will adjust.  I won’t hold them back.  I won’t TRY to control and shape them, but instead through my love and encouragement, I will teach them about their own control, and allow them to take shape.

Still my heart hurts…