Archive for the ‘Relationships & Marriage’ Category

Hello Great Blog World!

I know I’ve been completely missing for a bit now, but it’s been a wonderful interlude for me. I didn’t have fun or travel or party or do anything one might deem a “good” thing. Nope, not me! I sat at home, depressed and miserable. I fought with my husband. I yelled at my kids. Overall, I basically found myself becoming more and more uncomfortable until my boundaries gave and I experienced growth.

Growth is a funny thing. It’s all the same. Physical, Spiritual, personal… You grow as much as you can for the container you’re in. Once you reach the walls of your container, you experience first discomfort, then sometimes pain, and then just when you think you can’t take it anymore…. something gives…. and you break through your walls and you experience growth.

We forget this. We experience it over and over through every stage of our lives and yet we sometimes fail to connect the pain to the growth. Feeling the pain and refusing the growth only causes the pain to continue repeating until the growth can happen.

If you’re in pain, you’re not alone. There’s always someone to reach out to. Luckily for me, I have my girlfriends:) But most importantly, know that you’re just trying to grow… so really, the pain is a good thing. It means you’re alive and here and about to become and even BETTER version of the already pretty fantastic version of You!

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~ The Moonday Manifestor ~
I don’t know if all the things I have been going through line up with the houses the moon has been passing through and I considered going back to look. I’m not much of one for looking back though. “Keep moving forward” is one of my favorite things to say, so that’s what I’m going to do. Just keep swimming swimming swimming…

I’ve also decided that I don’t want to jump all that deeply into astrology. I’m Luna Light. I’m all about the moon. I figure, it’s the closest celestial thing to me. It MUST have the most immediate effect. I’m just going to stick with Her.

This week is going to align wonderfully for me. I feel like the Universe is laying out everything for me and helping me to find the time and space I need to find my way and grow. I love this beautiful experience that is life.

~ Astrologically ~
*Sunday morning through Tuesday morning*
The moon entered Virgo on Sunday 1-31-2010 @ 8:23am est and will remain in Virgo until Tuesday 2-2-2010 @ 8:42am est.

My almanac says: Virgo favors the accomplishment of details and commands from higher up. Focus on health, hygiene, and daily schedules.

~ Personally ~
*My manifestation schedule through Tuesday Morning*
This is fantastic for me because some of the things I’ve really been needing to get in order will be getting overdue attention. NOT the personal hygiene part if anyone wondered! LOL

I’ve been procrastinating like crazy over getting the electric, gas, and water turned back on in our rental and getting that place cleaned up and re-rented. Today I felt inspired to get my ass in gear! I’m also going to be able to take care of what the old tenants still owe while I’m up that way tomorrow scheduling the water turn on and letting the electric guys in.

And speaking of the commands from “higher up”… I’ve become overwhelmed with a passion to start a business. I don’t want to say much about it right now, but in the spirit of the accomplishment of details, I’m going to be finding out about getting the business license tomorrow!

~ Astrologically ~
*Tuesday morning through Thursday morning*The moon will enter Libra this Tuesday (2-2-2010) @ 8:42am est. and remain until Thursday (2-4-2010) @ 4:27am est when it will go void of course until 11:56am est.

My almanac says: Libra favors cooperation, compromise, social activities, beautification of surroundings, balance, and partnership.

~ Personally ~
*My manifestation schedule through Thursday Morning*I’ll be making calls about my business license in the morning as the moon transits from Virgo to Libra. Both signs are very supportive of my overall goal there so I’ll be moving forward :)

Favoring cooperation, partnership, and the beautification of surroundings! That sounds like I need to make sure we keep moving forward with our master suite remodel. Eeee!!! I’m SO excited about it. It’s nearly done. Another week or two! There was talk of drywall for the ceiling and even insulation and walls to go up! Those are the finals things and we’re IN!

During the “void of course” Thursday morning, I intend to start and DO nothing. Maybe I’ll take a bath and just meditate. It’s empty energy to work in though so even visualizations can be pointless. I like the 7 hour do nothing card.

~ Astrologically ~
*Thursday morning through the weekend*The moon finds Herself in Scorpio on Thursday (2-4-2010) @ 4:27am est where She will stay until Saturday (2-6-2010) @ 11:11am est.

She’ll go void of course from 11:11 until 7:04 pm when She’ll enter Sagittarius and remain until after next Moonday :)

My almanac says: Scorpio Increases awareness of psychic power. Precipitates psychic crises and ends connections thoroughly. People tend to brood and become secretive under this moon sign.

Sagittarius encourages flights of imagination and confidence. This moon sign is adventurous, philosophical, and athletic. Favors expansion and growth.

~ Personally ~
*My manifestation schedule Thursday morning through the weekend*Thursday nights through Saturday mornings energy for increased awareness of psychic power from Scorpio will have me meditating no doubt! That’s one of those things I’ve been meaning to find time to focus on. This will be the time. I’ll be sure to set aside some time all 3 days that the moon is in Scorpio and let the energy floooow!

All afternoon Saturday during the V/C will be a wonderful time for me to think about rearranging my kitchen. With my new cupboard (thanks to our remodel!) I’ve been meaning to stretch out and expand that kitchen space.

Sagittarius encourages my imagination and confidence and sense of adventure from Saturday night until Tuesday so I’m penciling in time to focus on my ideas for this wonderful new business venture!

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This is what I’ve decided to construct. Not a Book of Shadows. I know that the name of that book is part of the witches tradition, but that is the beauty of being a Solitary and making your own traditions in my humble opinion.

I thought about constructing a Book of Shadows and was giving thought to what I’d want to include and the more I thought about it, the more I thought of things I would include. Then the more things I listed to include, the more the similarity of the nature of those things seemed.

The nature of all of the things I would include in my Book of Shadows are things related to energy and healing and life and creation and joy and love. Those are not things of shadow. Those are things of light.

I also believe that working around some of the seemingly darker aspects of “witchcraft” will help me to reach a broader audience and be more readily accepted if not understood. And it’s not that I’m seeking anyone’s acceptance, but more that I believe that if I can bridge the gap between myself and someone else simply by altering my language, why shouldn’t I?

Besides, I find the idea of a Book of Light so much more appealing.
I know witches are said to/to have kept information regarding their magic in their Book of Shadows, but I see it like this.

My LIFE is my magic! Everything in my life, I have created… manifested. Everything I am interested in and am pursuing is under my spell and part of my magic. And my LIFE and my interests and pursuits center specifically around my home and family and health and Spiritual growth.

Maybe it’s… non-traditional, but I went and got myself a 3 ring binder. If I read something online I want to include in my personal book, I print it, punch it and include it. I’m free to use my trusty highlighter and make notes in every margin to my heart’s content! I even have section separators and folders. It organized so many things for me. I had information floating all over about all kinds of things and now I have a single location for all of it!

This translates over to everyone! You don’t have to be a witch to have your own book. Especially for the homemaker or mother. There’s so much we do and are responsible for. It really is wonderful to have a place to put it and a place to find it later! I even include a journal, calendar and my own personal “Tame the House” cleaning schedule/routine that helps me to conquer the chaos of life with boys!

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It’s raining and dreary here today and the weather matches my mood.

I’m working through some things and I have faith that this is just a brief part of this journey. It’s amazing the things that can come up out of you that you never realized were there. I guess being open to seeing and healing is what’s required.

I’m doing plenty of looking and seeing. I hope this means the healing has begun. I spent some time alone, sitting on my bed with the door closed. By just allowing the thoughts and feelings to come without judging them or myself for having them, I’ve discovered some things about myself.

That’s the self improvement part of it though, right? Learning who and why you are. Today I let go of defining WHY I felt and focused more on HOW I felt and it turns out, I don’t feel these self defeating feelings for the reason I’ve always thought. When I let go of trying to blame anyone else for MAKING me feel any particular way, the little child in me came forward and explained to me what she’s really always been looking for.

Talk about a learning experience! Don’t judge how you feel or cling to reasons why you feel any particular way. Just allow the feelings to come and listen to them as they pass by. They’ll tell you what’s really going on and what it is that’s in you and disconnecting you from your Source.

You just might be shocked to find that, like me, you don’t actually feel what you always thought. And if you’re trying to be aware of your thoughts and feelings for the purpose of conscious creation, isn’t knowing what you’re actually feeling of peak importance?

It occurs to me that many of the manifestations I seem to be having trouble with can most likely be attributed to this one feeling I’d mistakenly labeled as something else.

Be sure you know how you feel. Being self aware is so important in changing your thoughts and patterns.

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Related Resources

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Books

You Can Heal Your Life

The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World

Sites

Making Your Thoughts Work for You by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer; Byron Katie
Subscribe to the Louise L. Hay Newsletter and Receive a FREE Bonus Gift!

Videos

You Can Heal Your Life
Wayne Dyer Talks with Cesar Millan (My HERO!!)

Movies

You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version

Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life : Living the Wisdom of the Tao

Do you spend enough time by yourself? Do you recharge your battery regularly? Most people will unfortunately answer “No” to those questions. Heck, many people don’t even get a good night sleep to recharge at night.

I spend “Day Spa Monday” relaxing and recharging during the school year, every week. I do inexpensive home style spa type treatments and relax and veg for the whole day. Sometimes I’ll have lunch with a friend, but usually I just mellow out alone.

I don’t need a reason to be good to me. I deserve it! So do you!

If you’re trying to hold on to positive, good thoughts and consciously create the life of your dreams, one of the BEST places to start is to be good to yourself. You are your best friend. Even if you don’t always treat yourself as if. But it’s never too late to start taking care of YOU!

You don’t need a reason to require some TLC. You just need to put it higher on your list of priorities and take that time. You’re allowed!

You ARE Super Woman! You CAN do it all! Or at least most of it, with time to spare ,and still looking fabulous!! But it is imperative that you take care of YOU first. How can you have super powers if you don’t take the downtime to charge them up? How can you really be there for your family and friends (which is what we’re all about!) if you haven’t been there for you and you aren’t operating at your best?

Aside from the mental and physical relaxation you get from taking time to yourself, I’ve also found that it’s during this time that I’ve built my relationship with the Universe and God. I see synchronicities everywhere, all the time. I ask questions and have people or things with my answer materialize spontaneously. I truly feel that I’m living a magical and blessed life and this feeling originally began evolving for me back in 2007 when I started losing weight and taking time to care for ME!

I started to really care about myself. I wanted to feel good in my body and I wanted to LIKE myself. I made some minor changes in my life and suddenly my Spiritual growth started a snowball effect that’s had me on a spectacular tidal wave of joy ever since!

You will be amazed at the changes that happen in your life when you just start to take care of yourself.

Sometimes we DO take good care of ourselves, but then life happens and maybe we slack off a bit. I’m going through that now because it’s summer vacation and I have the boys 24-7. They’re off to Grandma’s tonight though and she’s keeping them for me until tomorrow evening, so I’ll have all day tomorrow by myself. I can’t WAIT!

So please, do yourself a big favor…. be a pal….

Go take some time, however much you can get a hold of, and spend it doing something that makes you smile. Do anything you want to, but enjoy it and relax and smile and know that you deserve to feel good. When you feel good, you make other people feel good! Then THEY make other people feel good and so on.

You don’t need a reason to be good to you!

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Related Resources

You Can Heal Your Life

Excuses Be Gone!

Codependent No More

I really love Sundays.
Not the ice cream treat, the day of the week. Well… the ice cream treat too… but this post is about the day of the week!

I grew up going to Sunday School every week so it wasn’t that far of a stretch for me to begin my own Spiritual practices on Sundays. I feel that it’s important for my personal and Spiritual growth to have a day of the week in which those things are my main focus.

That doesn’t mean my life stops and I sit in my bedroom with the curtains drawn and light candles and meditate all zen like for the day. Any parent alive knows it can be difficult to find five MINUTES in which to do that, let alone a whole day.

I DO try to spend time in nature if at all possible. For instance, today I’ll go out and weed in my garden. I always feel so “at one” with everything in the Universe when I sit in nature. One of my favorite things in the WORLD to do is to weed around and tend to my plants while mentally communicating extremely loving and grateful thoughts to them.

I know loads of people talk to their plants and I’ve always thought that was really cool. I mean, plants are alive. Why wouldn’t caring affection affect them as it does any other living thing? Then it just struck me one day. Gardening is a very meditative task already. If I talk to my plants and fill myself and them with words of love and gratitude while in that meditative state, it’d be like Spiritual Miracle Grow! And it is. That’s why I do it. It makes me feel fantastic!

I try not to plan things on Sundays. I try not to go places on Sunday. Even if we’re all in separate corners of the property, my family spends the day together. We’re very close knit. I want to know my husband and children and I want them to know me.

I don’t want to wake up one day to find that one of them isn’t who I thought they were. I want to reinvent them regularly in my mind and learn from them and see their growth. They are new people every day. I want to ensure that I always have Sundays in which to meet the new them they’ve become in the past 7 days. They’ve grown and so have I. Sharing that growth is what unites us as a family.

I believe that when you dedicate a portion of your time regularly to being in love and Spirit, that same energy you send out some back to you in manifest form. So you want to add your energy and focus it. If you can’t do it for an entire day, start with just 10 minutes a week. Spend just 10 minutes a week focused on sending love and feeling love and the warm vibrant energy of the Universe.

The Universe is going to send into your life whatever you ask it for. Why not ask it, in a purposeful way, to send back loving energy?

I hope you’re all finding the growth you seek on this beautiful Sunday morning!
∞

A topic I’ve been hearing about a lot lately is how to identify limiting beliefs and THEN how to change them to more empowering beliefs. This is a subject I am now very familiar with thanks to my husband. He really brought one to the surface for me this morning. Unfortunately I didn’t see it until after I slammed all the door in the house and broke the washing machine. But anyway…

In our house, everything inside the garden and house is my domain. I do all the cooking and cleaning and growing. I’m a homemaker. I accept this as my end of the bargain. He works and supports us financially. I balance the bills, the check book and the house. Now, that’s not to say he doesn’t do anything. He mows lawn, fixes the cars, remodels the house, can and does build anything and everything etc… He does little things like clearing the table while I’m cooking dinner or clearing the demolished kitchen counters and stacking the dishes neatly for me. And he’s ALWAYS been 50/50 with parenting. No complaints here.

Well, laundry is my most disliked chore and lately it’s been piling up. I have probably 3 loads of clean laundry in my bedroom that needs to be folded, but I haven’t made it in there to do it in about 3 days. Yeah, I know I should do it, but I don’t like it and I’ve been busy doing other things. This morning, Scott asked me if he had any clean socks and underwear. I told him the full load of whites was in the washing machine and that if he threw it into the already empty drier, they’d be good to go before it was time for him to leave.

He’s been dropping hints in a playful way that he thinks I need to get my shit together and get the laundry done and I’ve been agreeing but blowing him off. He just put a new window in the living room and I still didn’t even have curtains up. I’ve been moving some furniture around trying to find a comfortable flow in my home. I’ve been watching the boys while they swim in the pool. I’ve been trying to get off my butt and take Abby for a walk every day. I’m still not completely back to normal since Charlie ran away. It’s just been rough for me over the past month. Things really change when the kids are home for summer vacation and it can be difficult for me to find my groove.

I listened to him get up and leave the bedroom. Then I heard the laundry room door close. I got up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I was standing there pouring water into the back of the coffee maker when I realized I was hearing water running into the washing machine. I went over and opened the door and there he stood in front of a washer full of clothes with water running in.

“Why are you doing laundry?” I said.

“Because it needs done.” he said. Now, there was nothing off-sounding in his voice. He didn’t sound annoyed or impatient or mean or mad or anything. I still pulled the door closed and went into my bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I could. Then I burst into tears and my mind went a mile a minute. I ended up being able to step back and analyze the thoughts I was having from an observers point of view and deconstruct the limiting belief. The only way I know how to explain it though is to tell you exactly how it happened. Here is the conversation my mind had with my ego

Why does he DO this crap!? Doing the laundry is MY job! I don’t go around towing things. That’s HIS job! It’s like he doesn’t think I’m good enough! It’s like I’m doing the best I can (no you’re not) around here to keep this house clean (which is why it’s always a mess) and take care of these kids (that are 7 and 9 and basically take care of themselves) and he’s gotta throw it in my face that I’m not doing a good enough job(because you’re lazy). I’m NOT lazy! I don’t clean because I choose not to because I don’t like it (which is called being lazy…). No. I do the gardening and walk the dog and (play on your laptop and sit on your ass…). That’s not fair! (Why not?) …. why not…. why not…

God, I’m torturing myself. This is stupid. I need a better feeling thought. What can I say that’s true? What can I say that’ll help me dig out of this hole?

Because I do a lot around here! (That’s true.) I handle all the money. (True) Even if all the dishes are dirty, no one else ever has to wash a dish. I always present the food with clean dishes. (True) I take good care of all the precious souls in my charge! (True)

Okay, I guess I’m not so bad. (What?) I said I guess I’m not so… wait a minute… this all started because HE didn’t think I was good enough!! (He never said that though.) No, but if he thought I was doing a good enough job, he wouldn’t be out there doing MY chores! (Because it’s not like that’d be helpful or anything…) Well even if he IS trying to be helpful, it still pisses me off. He should leave MY stuff alone and worry about his own. I’ve told him before that it makes me feel like shit when he does that. I don’t like it when people make me feel like I’m not doing a good enough job.

(Are you doing a good enough job?) Of course I am! I do a perfectly fine job! (Really? Because you’re the only one that keeps saying you’re not….) NOOOOOOoo it was HIM doin MY chores for me! (Did it need done?) Yes, but.. (Did he SAY you weren’t doing good enough?) Well, no but that’s how it made me feel.

(If you started wearing high heels all the time, and he got upset because it makes him feel like he’s not tall enough… wouldn’t you say that he must already believe on some level that he’s not tall enough in order for him to perceive the insult from your benign actions?) Are you trying to say that deep down I believe I’m not good enough and that’s why I react that way? Not because of anything HE thinks, but because I’m thinking something I’m not even aware of and it’s pulling me out of alignment with my happiness because I know it’s not really true? (Ya think?) But why would I believe I’m lazy and not good enough? That’s not a very empowering thing to believe about yourself.

Although… my step father always said my mom was lazy. Lazy and worthless. He’d go into a huff and do a bunch of laundry or clean the kitchen so he could complain about how he HAD to because she was too lazy. But I always figured that was why I felt defensive when someone made me feel that way. That whole, “Nobody’s going to treat me that way!” thing. Hmmm.

(Well, the house IS always messy..) There’s nowhere to put anything! I’ve tried every organizational tool and piece of furniture I can find. Kevin and Kyle share a 9×9′ bedroom and so do Scott and I. I’m SO looking forward to my bedroom being built on the other side of the house because then everything will have a place!

(But everything can’t be messy this bad just for lack of storage…) No.. It’s because no matter how I arrange and fix and clean, things still look cluttered and messy because of lack of storage. I reach a point of anxiety about it and stop doing anything. Then the whole house falls apart over about a week. Then I pep talk myself into cleaning it. Then I feel GREAT. But then those cluttered areas start to haunt me and it all starts to fall apart. This is when the depression hits and I become overwhelmed and give up again.

(So… because your family of 4 is living in a slightly cramped way due to the growth of your family and possessions, you lack the space to have a comfortably organized home. Frustration with the chaos leads you to feel extremely overwhelmed and then depressed for a period until you rationalize yourself out of your funk and resume normal activity until the chaos becomes overwhelming again. Then when your husband does something you see as “your chore” you react as though his deeds are done in the same spirit as those done by someone who hurt you in your past. And because you KNOW and can’t deny that the house is a mess because you’re feeling out of control and overwhelmed… you feel as though the insults you’re perceiving as coming from your husband are in fact true!)

But that would mean that I’m having a knee jerk reaction (that is a learned behavior) to meaning that I’m applying to an action that was originally meaningless. (Now you’re getting it!)

So he was just doing a load of laundry. I can’t seem to get out from under the feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed long enough to keep the house clean very long and because I’m sitting and doing nothing, I believe I’m being lazy. Then when he does my chores, the way my step father used to do my mothers, I perceive that he’s saying to me that I’m lazy and not good enough because that’s what my step father always meant when HE did it. And because I see myself sit here in perfect health I am angry with myself for not being “better“.

And with that illumination, at that moment, my tears cleared and my mood lifted and I wasn’t angry anymore. As a matter of fact, this is the best defunking I think I’ve ever done. I’ve made a few creative decisions and after I change some things around here and take advantage of some unused space I’ve been neglecting to use for some reason, things will be MUCH more organized and MUCH LESS cluttered.

I feel like I can breathe even though my breath didn’t really feel constricted in the first place. I feel like I just walked right out of a forest that I’ve been lost in for years. I’ve felt downright buoyant since I made peace with how I feel about myself. Somehow I just know it’ll be okay now. My first order of business will be a decluttering mission I can tell you that much!

SO! My advice to you on identifying a limiting belief about yourself is to look at how other people make you feel. You must, on some level, in some way believe or fear there may be some truth to what you perceive is being said or you wouldn’t have a negative or defensive reaction to it.

How many limiting beliefs can you identify about yourself? The truth will set you free!
∞

The format of this site has changed slightly, but may still be of interest to most if not all of it’s current visitors.

My target audience is now stay-at-home moms, working moms, wives and girlfriends. There is a Spiritual overtone, so ANYONE interested in Spirituality, Law of  Attraction, conscious living, conscious and/or Spiritual parenting, loving the life you live, finding purpose in your life and/or just BEING HAPPY may find this site useful and is MORE than welcome to stick around!

This site is my life. This is what I do. Not the website, but the content therein.

I’m a 30 year old mother of 3 boys, 2 dogs and 2 cats. I’m married to the man of my dreams and we will celebrate 11 years this August!! These 4 people and 16 paws are my life! I’m a homemaker. A deeply spiritual homemaker who’s doing everything she can to create a loving, happy, Spiritual existence here in this life.

I’m doing my best to raise conscious, loving, thoughtful, Spiritually aware children. My boys are 7 (Kyle), 9 (Kevin) and 14 (Thomas). Thomas has lived with his father since he was 2 and I’ve had to learn how to build a loving relationship with a son I see only every other weekend. I’ve also had to learn how to build a relationship with my Ex and his wife which has been very relaxed and easy for most of these years.

I’m here to help and inspire and LEARN from YOU! I hope you can help, inspire and learn from me too :)

To the left you should see a list of the topics I intend to be blogging about. If there’s anything listed of interest to you, stick around!