I choose, Other.
Great Friday greetings to all my blog-world friends!
I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how people label their circumstances in life. This is a “happy” situation, a desired situation, a problem, a difficulty, a challenge. We all do this. It’s how we, as humans, categorize our emotions and feelings and go about creating our existence.
I don’t like those labels. I try not to use them or think and classify in their terms. Law of Attraction teaches us that labeling something as good or bad creates feelings within us and it is THOSE feelings with which we are creating our moment to moment experiences.
I hear many people say, “Oh, I don’t have PROBLEMS… I have challenges! Problems imply something is wrong, but I’m just being challenged..”
That has NEVER felt like a statement that was in alignment with what I want for my life. It feels dis-empowering to me. How is challenge better than problem? Problem implies that something is not right and needs to be changed. Challenge implies that you are against something larger than you and you will have to strive and persevere to succeed. So we’re either saying life is wrong or difficult and to be overcome.
That doesn’t work for me. I can’t create on those terms, I can only take what’s coming and work to push and pull what already exists. That’s all that belief system will allow me. I want to CREATE what does NOT exist. I want to manifest situations and people to tip the tables in the direction of my will to create the outcome of MY desire.
All I have is growth. Really, that’s all ANY of us have, ever. We “have” friends and lovers and children and jobs and money and homes and families and circumstances…. but these things never really belong to us. We come into these lives specifically to grow and love and expand and when these lives are over, out of all the things we “have”, only the growth and lessons learned can leave with us for our next great cosmic adventure.
There is no “problem” or “challenge” because they’re all just growth. And if the circumstances have become what is commonly labeled as “a problem”, that simply means that the Universe has been urging me to growth in that area for a while now, and it’s needing to raise it’s voice so I might hear it.
I find that keeping as many labels and terms as possible in the empowering energy of how I can become more or grow, the better the manifestation vibe. This means that instead of standing in the middle of a crappy situation saying, “Oh GREAT! Now what am I going to do?” I stand and say, “This is quite a growth point I’ve come to. What can I become or create from this point?”
It’s sort of like focusing on the solution and not the problem… sort of. The difference though, is that focusing on a solution instead of a problem means that you are again at odds with circumstances beyond your control that already exist which you must push and pull into place.
Being at a growth point and asking what you can become or create from that point is about YOU. It’s about what is IN you and coming OUT of you. You are the only influence. Stopping and recognizing that you are living within an undesired circumstance and asking how YOU can change is much more helpful in making the growth more visible for you. And once you see the point at which you may grow or create, circumstances change.
No matter what is happening, those are the questions I ask myself.
I recently talked about my mother-in-law not liking me, so she comes to mind for an example. The woman has never liked me. Not one iota. When I was eight months pregnant with Mike’s first son and we were arguing over whether the dog would be going to a vet or not, she told me as she walked by that, I should be ready to “pack my shit and hit the road” if I made him choose between me or the dog because if he had any brains at all, he’d choose the dog. Delightful woman for sure.
Her not liking me was a PROBLEM for me. And I thought of it as such for 10 years. The circumstances of that situation never failed to meet my every expectation until I stopped expecting. I didn’t CHANGE what I expected because frankly, after all I went through, I couldn’t go in expecting anything but my previous experiences.
No more problem. I am at a growth point and apparently I need to have it screamed at me because it’s VERY uncomfortable. What can I become or create from this point? Well, I don’t want to create friendship because even if she started being really nice all of a sudden, I still wouldn’t want to hang out with her. I guess I just want to be at peace. I don’t want her to HATE me, but that’s a push-pull with what already IS… I am becoming and creating.
I don’t “hate” her. Some would say she was a bad mother. I would say that mothering is an action and one she didn’t perform regularly, but I can’t say she should have been anything but who she was because Mike is fantastic and if she had been different, he would be also. I want peace. I will become peace and create peace. And I did.
It’s been two years this past Mother’s Day since I went through that growth point. I realized that, I didn’t have to feel badly about her just because she feels badly about me. Doing so would never do anything beyond perpetuating the animosity. She is creating and becoming and growing in her own life. For how uncomfortable she appears to be, the Universe must be nearly hoarse from It’s efforts. I should hold her in my thoughts with compassion and love.
Now, I only accompany my husband to his mother’s house on Thanksgiving and Christmas and usually once midsummer to sort of balance out the year. I don’t make an effort. Before I made an effort to be on her good side or to make her like me. Now it’s about ME. I am becoming and creating from this point and I choose to become and create peace and harmony. I am kind and courteous and respectful. I don’t talk badly about her. Always a kind word.
I no longer care what she thinks or says about me. I am who I am and I want peace between us. If them’s fightin’ words in her world… then she can fight. But she won’t be fighting with me. Someday if she stops fighting with herself long enough to see me, she’ll see a kind, compassionate, peaceful, loving person because as she looks back, that’s all she’ll remember me having ever been to her.
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My affirmation today~ My life is an amazing utopia of grace and beauty. I am truly blessed.
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