** Mark your calendars!! **
~ Full Moon Group Abundance Meditation on Sunday 11-21-2010 @ 11am & 11pm EST ~
There’s nothing to sign up for. Bring a friend. Or a hundred friends.
For more information, check in here.
Back in October, I’d set an intention with the New Moon to lose fourteen pounds in four weeks. Here I am five weeks later, and I’ve not only NOT lost the fourteen, but I managed to gain two.
I wasn’t terribly worried about it. I could see it happening as it was happening and I let it be. I had a lot going on and each day it seemed like there was always a different reason why I couldn’t go work out.
And I’m not just talking “excuses” I was making to not go. I had a sick child one week and then the other one was sick the following week. They weren’t home from school all those days, but they were home for some.
Can’t really go to the gym with a sickie at home.
But anyway, none of that matters.
This morning on Lilypad Paradise, my quote was about will. It reminded me of when I quit smoking and when I lost 40 pounds a few years ago. I enjoyed starting my day thinking about how strong my will can be and how powerful I am when I use it.
I went to Curves this morning and worked out hard. I mean, I really put my focus into it. I zeroed in on the muscle group I was on, and made each move with purpose. Today’s the first day I’ve been there this week.
On my way home, I wandered off on a train of thought about how good it felt to work out after having not done it for a couple weeks. I thought about how good I feel inside my body when I work out regularly. I thought about how I need to really MAKE this workout a regular part of my morning routine.
“Too bad I couldn’t get a grip and lose those 14 pounds last month….”
As soon as that thought reared it’s ugly head, the realization hit me. I didn’t lose the weight and I was unable to stick with it and find the time and I also ate like a pig for the entire month…. and it’s because of that intention.
I wasn’t intending growth, I was intending improvement. But I don’t need to improve. I am as I am and that’s the way I’m supposed to be. As soon as I officially intended to lose that weight and “improve” myself, or rather how I saw myself, I think my subconscious took the hit and suddenly I ate everything in sight in a self soothing manner. Suddenly I was far too over taxed and put upon to find free time to work out. That fits in with that whole martyrdom thing too.
I think I need to focus my intentions into having a regular morning routine that includes my Lilypad Paradise quote of the day, meditation, and exercise. That will put my focus more on feeling good and being happy and healthy. I already meditate and do my quote. Now to integrate the exercise… Oh great, now I’m thinking about affirmations DURING exercise. Hmmmm…
As a side note, I’m also reminded that creating is downstream while LOSING or getting rid of is very upstream thinking.
Growth.
No more improvements for me!!
