Morning Joy Quest
May 19th, 2010
I’ve come to the conclusion that the most important thing for me to do in order to ensure a good day is to do something I enjoy first thing in the morning.
I’ve tried to have the cleaning to-do list ready so I can get the daily chores out of the way. I figured that if I could get the daily drag out of the way, I’d be free to enjoy the rest of my day in peace. This just doesn’t work for me.
I’ve spent, literally, years trying to make this schedule work. It’s really quite fruity if you think about it. To do the same thing over and over expecting different results. I’m positive that’s been used to define “insanity” before.
That’s what it is too. Insanity.
I’ve spent years saying, “Okay Self… We’re going to get out of bed and get THIS list of chores done first thing,” and “Okay Lazy Self, we’re not getting anywhere with the chores, so we’re going to exercise every day!”
What a load! I am NOT a hit the ground running kind of person. Not on any kind of regular basis at least.
This morning I got up slowly. I sipped my coffee and read my email. A normal, quiet morning. At 9am when Mike finally pulled down the driveway, I had my usual conversation… “Self.. we need to do something productive today!” Ugh.
Just the words “need” and “productive” are enough to make me want to climb back into bed. This is usually the point at which I mentally list off the things I SHOULD do… the things I NEED to do… then the things I “SHOULDN’T” do… then I do the shouldn’t(s) and spend the rest of the morning feeling like a lazy, non-productive, useless waste of space.
Not this morning! This morning I had my mental conversation and decided to take a bike ride with the dog. He needs some exercise so he’ll stop digging and I LIKE riding my bike. So we went. Four miles total. I am pooped.
When we got back, Abby was all wiggin’ out wanting to go out too, but I’d had enough of the bike for the moment, so I decided to go out to the greenhouse and give everything a good watering and took her out with me. She likes to chase bugs around the edges of the walls where the grass grows highest.
I giggled at her antics and watered and talked to all my plants. Yeah, I talk to them. Would it freak you out more if I said they sometimes talk back? lol
When I came in and sat down, I realized the whole first hour of my morning was gone. I started to sort of kick myself thinking, “Well, once again we waste the morning and get nothing done,” and it occurred to me…. Why isn’t it productive if I enjoy it?
The dog NEEDED to run. He will have a happier and more relaxed day now. His energy has been lowered to a more manageable level for Abby too. When he’s wound tight, he mauls her. The plants NEEDED watering. Those vegetables will be eaten by my family. They are important. Just because I enjoy spending time with them doesn’t make it an aimless activity.
And so what if it WAS an aimless activity! Why do I feel like I have to justify everything I do and/or don’t do throughout the day? I suppose it’s still that little girl in me hoping for validation. I justify, you validate… But I digress…
My point was… I started my day slow, went for a bike ride in the sunshine with the dog, came home and played in the greenhouse with the other dog and my plants, and now I’m sitting here writing. I feel SO much better right now than I ever have as I sat here mentally punishing myself for not being more “productive”. I did important and productive things. They were just the things I enjoy. They were the things that I am smiling as I do.
Why should my day not start with joy? Why should I not look forward to getting out of bed because I know my next few hours will be filled with guilt free pleasure in whatever form it should take? I’ve been given this beautiful opportunity to BE a homemaker and have the freedom to do whatever I want to, why should I feel guilty for the enjoyment I find in it?
Sort of puts a damper on a Joy Quest for a moment when you realize you actually feel guilty for enjoying yourself. No more! I’ve been going out of my way to find more moments of enjoyment in my life and this morning I realized that my optimum Joy Quest time of day is first thing in the morning.
So mote it be :)
Today’s affirmation will be~ I accept the joy in my life. I am deserving.
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