As I was leaving the grocery store on Wednesday, after finishing up my Thanksgiving food collecting, I saw something disturbing. There, right outside the grocery store, standing where everyone would drive by on their way out, was a man. A dirty and sad looking man. He was holding a huge cardboard sign that said, in big, hand written, black, marker letters, “Laid off and almost homeless. Will work for money, food, or diapers!”
This is by far the most heart breaking thing I’ve ever had to see, first hand, with my own eyes. I mean, you hear about things like this and even see it on television on prime time dramas and movies. You’re given the impression that things like this are really only in really big cities, but that’s not true. Here, in our pathetically small city of Ashtabula, the proof stood right on that corner, dignity and self respect in hand, begging his fellow man for a leg up of any kind so this poor guy can diaper and feed his kids.
Now, I’m ALL ABOUT the concept that we choose.We choose our lives and circumstances. No exception. Did he purposely choose to suffer along with his family? Of course not. This is where people get all confused about conscious creation and Law of Attraction. This is where people get all mad and say that followers of the LOA are calloused and mean. How can you see someone struggle and blame them for it? They’re the victim, right?
Right! They ARE the victim. Abso-freakin-lutely! Are they to blame? No, of course not. Did they bring these circumstances onto themselves? Yep.
Huh? Say that again…. They ARE the victim, they’re NOT to blame, and they DID bring their circumstances onto themselves.
Well, I’ll be damned if that don’t make no damn sense. I just totally contradicted myself, didn’t I. Only I didn’t… and I’ll tell you why.
- We are all victims of our own thoughts at some point in our lives. We all pick out the worst case scenario before anything at all has even happened and replay the awful possibilities over and over in our heads. Doing this only serves to get you all upset and stressed out and filled with anxiety. Is this productive? Not hardly. Does it create positive circumstances? Nope.In the example of the man above…. I bet he started playing over and over in his head, how he’d be laid off and how his family would suffer from the moment that the country started talking about the bad economy. So he’s to blame for his own circumstances, right? No, of course not…..
- He is NOT to blame for his circumstances! How can that be? If we all create from our thoughts and beliefs… and his thoughts and beliefs have created this situation for him, how can he not be to blame?Blame is a crappy word. We blame when a circumstance comes around that’s unfavorable and we believe someone else is responsible for creating the circumstances. We blame them for our pain. Blame and responsibility are NOT the same thing. Is he responsible? Yeah. That doesn’t mean he wants pain. That doesn’t mean he wants to suffer. It simply means that we are responsible for our own circumstances. We choose our goals, and then choose our thoughts regarding the goal, and then the goal manifests into our lives according to how we specified that we expected to see it according to our thoughts.Also, blame implies that something is wrong. That’s why we get so touchy over that word. Blame automatically means that I’ve been wronged and it’s your fault. In reality, nothing is ever wrong. Things may not be what you wish they were. Things may seem really unfavorable in comparison to what someone elses circumstances are, but life is never wrong or bad. It just Is. It’s what you choose to make of it that decides what you end up with and the lessons you learn and the direction you move in. I really don’t like that word. I prefer responsibility.
- Responsibility. The ability to respond. You choose how you respond to all stimuli. When something “bad” happens in your life, your ability to respond, your choice TO respond, and your decision in HOW to respond is all yours. So you’re not to blame for your life’s circumstances, but you are responsible for the state of your thoughts and life. It is your job to respond.How did the nearly homeless man respond to his circumstances? I’d be willing to bet that it wasn’t in a proactive way. I’d be willing to bet that he didn’t find the positive thoughts and begin looking forward in anticipation to the wonderful changes in store for him and his family.”Wonderful changes? Are you freaking kidding me? How can being starved and homeless a wonderful change?”
When we’re laid off from our job, becoming homeless and starved is NOT the only possible outcome. It’s not even the most likely of outcomes. It takes an awful lot of worry and fear and resistance to get there. An awful lot of wallowing in self pity and victimization. I know, it sounds like I’m blaming him, but I’m not.
We’re all here, on this planet together. We’re all going to live here through this lifetime and then we’re going to leave. Everything we accumulate here will be left behind. Everything that we stress over and worry about and bust our asses to own will be totally irrelevant, useless, and worthless to us when the time comes for us to go. So why is it that we base our entire worth and the value of our lives on the ownership of all these material things?
Missing the point.
Because I come from a Christian background, I tend to go to the Bible for things and I have a Christian base to my beliefs. I know, how weird, a Christian Witch. LOL
Anyway, the word “sin” comes to mind. Sin is an old Greek archery term. It means to miss the mark or point.
Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
The missing of the point.
The point is…. it’s all an illusion. It’s all self created and only exists inside your head. The entire world and your entire life isn’t REAL. It’s only your own personal interpretation of the endless sea of energy and information that you’re floating around in. Your life does NOT look the same to anyone on the planet as it looks to you. Even the people living their lives closely and even intertwined with yours do not see or think of you and your life in the way that you do.
Falling short of the glory of God.
The glory of God is the awareness that the illusion exists. It’s the sheer, unadulterated joy that’s found when you realize you can choose to be happy no matter what. Because no matter how crappy the circumstances, it’s not real. There’s no meaning there. It’s not you. There’s nothing that you can buy or own or have or make or date or marry that will make you happy. Only you can make you happy. Don’t fall into the illusion.
If you continually seek things and people to bring you happiness, you will live out your life wondering desperately why you’re never happy for more than short bursts at a time.
Empathy and understanding.
These are two things that you must find within yourself. Should the man in need be ignored due to the fact that he’s responsible for his own circumstances? Should we walk on by and not help? Should we allow him the suffering he’s subconsciously requested in the hopes that he’ll hit his proverbial “rock bottom” and have a sudden epiphany that will forever change his life and circumstances? Of course not!
We’ve all been in a place where we thought we were screwed. The place where everything you touch turns to shit and there is no foreseeable way out. That terrifying place where your inner movie plays out all the myriad of ways that the current crappy situation can possible become worse. It’s scary. It’s lonely. It’s often hopeless…. in the way that it feels at least.
Someone in that situation doesn’t need to be ignored. They don’t need to be told it’s their “fault” they’re in the position they’re in. They also don’t need to be told to “look on the bright side.” What they need is someone who can empathize with them. Understand their position and how they came to be in it. Someone willing to hang in there with them and help them SEE how it can be improved. To help them SEE that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that they’re not alone.
No matter what your Spiritual or religious affiliation. No matter which of the coming holidays you celebrate in your household. Please reach out to someone this holiday season and share some empathy and understanding. Share some money if you can. Share some food. Share your holiday dinner table. Share your time.
We are each blessed with so much to give. Even if you have NOTHING, you can still give of yourself. You can still make someone’s day by simply being present with them in the face of their loneliness. Let the unconditional love of the Universe that expresses itself through you, be what you share first and foremost with your fellow man this holiday season, and every day of the year.
Here are some resources for sharing what you can. I’m going to take my kids and volunteer at our local food bank this season. As far as I’m concerned, giving of themselves and helping those in need is one of the best lessons I am capable of teaching them and I’m proud and consider myself honored to teach it.
Volunteers of America
Serve.Gov
Volunteer Match
Local Charities
Catholic Charities USA
Local Independent Charities of America
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